SPLAT! It didn’t come from outer space (If it did, I wouldn’t care) – Oh no! it was much worse than that When a bird pooped on my hair. I was minding my own business Playing in the yard When I felt this plop upon my head Catching me off guard. When I reached up to investigate, I felt this sticky goo, And all my friends were laughing That my hair was stuck with poo; And then I started crying – I cried most bitterly That of all the places that poo could land It had to land on me. And I wouldn’t let them wash me – Oh Lord! it wasn’t fair So I just sat and sulked and sobbed That a bird pooped on my hair. I just sat and sulked and sobbed That a bird pooped on my hair.
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Gabriel Fitzmaurice was born in 1952 in the village of Moyvane, Co. Kerry, where he still lives. He retired as principal of the local national school at the end of 2007. He is the author of more than thirty books: his translations from the Irish are available in Poems from the Irish, children's poetry: I'm Proud to be Me! Really Rotten Rhymes; The Boghole Boys and I and the Village. He has also translated the biographies of Maidhc Dainin Ó Sé (House Don't Fall on Me) and Bernie Long (Ventry Calling) and edited several collections of essays including Come All Good Men and True on the works of John B. Keane. He broadcasts on radio and television on education and the arts.
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