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Carraway, Hillary R.

 
9781504950435: Soul Existence

Sinopsis

Soul Existence can be appreciated by people from any walk of life, no matter their religion or spirituality. The contents of the book are meant to inspire you to ask your own questions that will help to broaden your views of what it means to exist beyond this life. To appreciate the gift of life on earth, to find within ourselves the purpose of that life, and everything our souls gain from that experience. The discussion is not meant to preach or to sway a person's beliefs but rather to suggest that the boundaries between life and death are not far apart. Loved ones who have passed away are closer then we could ever imagine, guiding us through the trials of life. Our existence is part of something far bigger and more complex than most of us could ever imagine. Soul Existence also proposes that there may never be only one answer to the questions that baffle our minds. Each of us has a unique connection to God. In addition, God's grace and his Kingdom are not partial to any one group of people. All good souls are welcome.

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Soul Existence

By Hillary R. Carraway

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2015 Hillary Carraway
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5049-5043-5

CHAPTER 1

In cold and darkness, my soul seemed to find light and a peace that I had never known. I wanted to die. More than ever before, I welcomed it. I knew that my time on earth was about to come to an end. Finally concluding my suffering from the plague that greed and power brought to humankind. I longed for the answers that I knew only our creator held within his existence. Only he knew why we were sent to this cruel world. For all the months I spent in captivity, one question lingered in my thoughts above all others: "Why does someone who is handed power or a better title, no matter how slight, always turn dominating and greedy? Arrogance consumes someone like this, as if a higher power has finally deemed that he or she was meant to guide the rest. These people seem to believe their lives, their ways, and their prophecies were more significant than those of whom they were meant to serve and guide. What weakness in the rest of us allows this to happen time and time again at every different level, in every aspect of life, and within every society? It is conveyed amid families, social communities, politics, religions, and in those we choose to be our highest leaders.

Power has changed hands countless times throughout the history of the world. Has there ever been a single instance in which the outcome was not the same? Our salvation is always our destruction.

These questions boiled inside me. Moments like this always made me feel weak and insignificant, as though I was not worthy of an answer. But now the aforementioned calmness filled my soul. It was as though all the questions I had ever had no longer concerned me. After months of cold and darkness, imprisonment, humiliation, and brutality, I would never have to face those burdens again. The darkness of my cell was replaced by light and warmth. My soul rose into a magnificent existence. Every sense was overtaken by radiance. No words can explain the freedom, weightlessness, warmth, and pure pleasure that I felt as I passed from one world into the next. Love encased me. It was like waking up from a dream and finally understanding what it means to truly exist. I was a part of something so big, special, intricate, and detailed. There were brilliant colors that I could never have imagined.

Before me, all around me, and in me, I experienced my savior, my loved ones, and my dear animals that had passed away before me. Along with all of those I wished so badly that I could have saved.

He, who in my tongue was referred to as God, was not merely a being that stood before me. He was part of me — part of all of us. This being was not just one soul but the good of all souls combined. My suffering, burdens, and despair had also belonged to him. He didn't just understand my life, he had lived it alongside me.

The Lord welcomed me and thanked me for my service on Earth. My suffering was over — my journey complete! What a glorious homecoming it was! On earth, my days were often filled with fear and sadness, but all of the pain and trials were now only a distant memory. True freedom was at hand, it could never be taken away from me.

The Lord was indeed perfection — the creator of all love, compassion, and hope. Within his existence were the answers I'd so longed for, just like I always knew they would be. He recognized the eagerness for knowledge that filled my soul, and the answers flashed before me.

I now understood that power, recognition, and success were humankind's greatest temptations and therefore our greatest downfall. During our lives on earth, they seemed to define our reasons for existing. We all wanted to better ourselves, to achieve great things, to be respected among our peers. I was now able to comprehend their deception. We crave power out of a need for recognition and perhaps even self-worth. However, the well-being of others is often grossly overlooked in this pursuit. It was a battle between free will and God's will; few ever find balance between the two.

I saw that life was much more complex than I had ever realized. There was a reason for everything, a resolution to every request. Our many differences, interpretations, and self-righteousness became inane and condescending. I understood why all religions were right in their own reasoning. They each led people to their creator and guided them in the direction they chose. Many times religion created prejudices however, more often it produces spirituality and helps reaffirm people's connection with God and the difference between right and wrong. The images flashed so swiftly, and they thoroughly communicated love and other feelings attached to them. I realized that some people need religion to remind them that their creator was near and to bring them closer to him.

Others were more in tune with their spirituality. They worshiped the earth, the creatures, and the weather. They were thankful for their bounty, and they saw the earth as a living being. Instead of looking to the Bible or prophecy, they relied upon intuition to help them choose their paths. They looked to their creator and their ancestors to guide them.

Some didn't acknowledge religion or spirituality in any form. They had seen the torment of indifference found there and chose not to be a part of it. Science and logic guided them, not the Lord or any higher power. Always naively unaware that science was also an avenue to their creator. He had created it especially for these people because they could only believe by seeing. In other words, their connection to God could not be an unexplained feeling or words in a holy book. These souls could only understand what they could prove or touch. They were not irrational, they only had a different method of understanding and accepting their creator. Many times, God came to them through science without their recognition of him.

There were so many beliefs, religions, and political influences represented in the images. I saw how often humans had manipulated religion to protect their heritage and beliefs or to gain power. I felt the sadness of the Lord as he reminded me of the relentless destruction and persecution that religion had caused throughout history, as in my own experience on earth. I understood that the religions themselves weren't to blame for this; rather, it was people's lack of acceptance of unfamiliar religions and ideas. Most plagued by their arrogance and inability to compromise. They were controlled by a blinding fear that power would shift; it filled them with greed and panic. The basis that these religions were founded upon was set aside and replaced by war and despair out of a never-ending need to acquire the upper hand.

There would never be a winner of these wars or a chosen religion that would rise above the rest. There was not a particular breed of people whose souls would be saved because of what they believed in or were born into, leaving the rest damned to hell. After all, many religions are scattered across the world, and none are truer than any other. None is exempt of flaws or misguided information. I saw that the only thing that really matters is love for one another, integrity, peace, kindness, generosity — and acceptance of the unacceptable!

If all God's creations and all the ideas and beliefs in the world are not accepted, the only outcome is chaos and destruction. Over many thousands of years, this flaw of humankind could not be mended. I now saw the reason that God and all of those who would inhabit the world helped create it in order to learn from it. Life was cruel, and at times it seemed insurmountable. But the knowledge and appreciation that our souls gained from life on earth was unmatched. No one was perfect, many didn't live out of the purest integrity or responsibility, but often the knowledge those people gained was more substantial than that of others.

I saw that great strides were made on earth over the centuries, but in all that time, we had not learned to work together with humility. Earth was not created for us to suffer, but rather for us to learn and advance in the understanding of life, compromise, and love. We were meant to learn to accept and take care of each other and to appreciate and love the world — the earth, people, and animals. We were intended to create a balance among all living things and set all religious, racial, and political issues aside.

CHAPTER 2

As I sat there absorbing all of this knowledge, I was suddenly interrupted. Darkness overtook the light. It choked the air as a feeling of despair and fear replaced the calmness, and a familiar emotion arose inside of me. A void grew, separating me from the peace and light. A demonic voice reached out and screeched. Angrily, it snarled and clawed at me. As before, knowledge filled me, but this time it was dark, obscene, and tormenting. My soul felt heavy and bound. The evil of humankind flashed before me. Sensations of death, destruction, greed, jealousy, addiction, vanity, and cruelness were swept into one mighty storm. Satan in all his hellish form surrounded me. His eyes burned with evil as they peered into my soul.

Never before had I felt so exposed and vulnerable. He knew all my weaknesses, wants, and deep desires. He reminded me of sins in my past life, and I felt his pleasure as he indulged in them. The devil no longer looked frightening but handsome and confident. His whispers filled my mind, and he wanted my soul — wanted me to let go of all my inhibitions. I felt pleasure. I could taste it. He wanted me, and he wanted to please me. He showed me how powerful I could be under his guidance. His eyes were warm and welcoming, as he revealed to me his dwelling and all those that would serve me and worship me.

For an instant, I desired all that he promised, but in the next, I felt the warmth of the Lord and saw his light pierce the dark fog that was Satan. I fell to my knees and begged the Lord for his forgiveness. I apologized for being weak, and I wept as I told him that no matter what I faced, I would always choose him.

He lifted me and told me not to weep. He explained that I had chosen him over Satan long ago, and I was safe in his kingdom. He told me that I was his child, and he would always protect me. In flashes, I saw that Satan couldn't harm those of us who were home with our savior. Our paths had finally reached their destination. Satan could only have influence over us while we were on earth. The Lord had let me experience Satan's power in that moment only to remind me of the task that I had overcome.

All humans were exposed to Satan and given the free will to live their lives as they chose. We all made mistakes, and at times we would all suffer because of the mistakes of others. The world was not perfect; it wasn't meant to be. It was cruel and unforgiving, but God was a part of all of us. We could always turn to him. We could choose to forgive the people whose sins infringed upon us, or we could allow their sins to fuel our own. We all knew the difference between good and evil, but Satan had countless strategies for making us lose our way. He was always present to lure us away from the Lord. The Devil showed us an easy way out, a way to deal with the pain, and a way to justify the reasoning behind our sins.

I now sensed the presence of my loved ones waiting to greet me, and though I longed to feel their embraces, I hesitated. There were so many more things I wanted to know. The Lord smiled at me, and I knew that any time I needed him, all I had to do was think of him, and he would be there.

His image vanished, and before me stood everyone who had ever touched my life and loved me, even those I never met. Excitement filled me as I realized they were not strangers. We had all been here together before, long before our lives on earth. I had known them for all time.

Each of my loved ones looked like him- or herself. However, they were flawless and ageless, and their souls were brilliant. I realized that I could communicate with all of them at once in my mind. It was as though our souls were connected, and all that I had ever wanted to know about them was apparent. What a magnificent reunion it was! The love I felt was phenomenal; it radiated throughout my entire being. I embraced each one, and tears of joy fell down our cheeks. We reminisced of our previous time together and celebrated our long-awaited reunion. I wanted to ask some for forgiveness, but there was no need.

My childhood horse, Silver, stood before me looking more magnificent than ever before. And my old dog, Angus, was no longer gray and crippled but young and full of life. All of my beloved pets were there, and just as I had always suspected, they had souls not much different than humans', but now we could fully comprehend one another. My most obedient friends stood by my side, no longer as pets but as wise souls who would now guide me in heaven just as they had in life.

My grandma, my idol and spiritual mentor, reached out and embraced me. I had forgotten how safe I felt in her arms, but those feelings all rushed back to me. I knew that she had always been watching over me, but it was the greatest gift to see and feel her again. In this moment, I realized that the losses I suffered on earth had created the most awe-inspiring miracle of appreciation for this, greatest of reunions.

Heaven had no boundaries or limitations. It seemed to go on forever. As I walked through this glorious place, arm-in-arm with my grandma, I found myself on a familiar dirt road. I looked up, and there was the old farmhouse she shared with my grandpa in the river bottoms. The cattle were grazing in the meadow, and the horses raced through the trees. The high mountains were covered in snow, and a warm breeze brushed against my face. Wildlife surrounded us. I was home! As we walked through the gate and up to the doorstep, I saw Grandma's beautiful garden filled with daisies, sweet peas, sunflowers, and every kind of flower you could imagine. Each one looked divine and flawless. As I opened the door, the smell of Grandma's fresh-baked bread filled the air. Everything was just how I remembered it. Oh, how I had missed the comfort of their home.

I soon began a journey to create my own place of heaven. All I had to do was think about what I wanted and how I wanted it, and it would appear. I built a small, cozy cottage in a wide valley surrounded by mountains. A calm creek ran in front of my home, and just down the pathway sat a small pond. Wildlife filled the landscape, and all of my animals were at home here. The weather and seasons changed from time to time, but it was never too hot or too cold.

CHAPTER 3

To be a soul is an amazing thing. You can transport to whatever location you wish in an instant. And you're able to communicate with others with such depth, complexity, and clarity. There are no expression of sexual feelings and no marriages. When you are connected to a soul that you have a bond with, you are so in tune with one another that it is almost as though you are one. You enjoy each other for all that you are. Jealousy doesn't exist, only love and respect for all.

Each of my loved ones was so precious and unique, and each one filled a void in my soul. Like a puzzle, each piece came together to form one ... all of our knowledge and experience combined. As this was revealed to me, I saw that many pieces of the puzzle were still missing. That was when I remembered those I had left behind.

Until that moment, I was so caught up in the magnificence of heaven that I had forgotten I was released from my duties of earth, but so many people I loved were still there: my parents, my friends, and many others.

Suddenly, I was swept back to earth as an observer, and the cold world that I remembered surrounded me. In heaven, time had no meaning and therefore passed much faster than on earth. My death was very recent, and I wondered if my parents were even aware of my passing. I wanted to see what had become of my body. As I floated above it, my body now seemed so heavy and awkward as though it was a prison for my soul during the time I was on earth.

My carcass had been tossed into a pit among dozens of other dead bodies. As I looked over my fragile, bruised remains, they were almost unrecognizable to me. Sadness filled my soul, and I wondered if I had made a difference in the world.


(Continues...)
Excerpted from Soul Existence by Hillary R. Carraway. Copyright © 2015 Hillary Carraway. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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