THIS IS A REAL MESS

The desire to do good is inside of me, but I can't do it. I don't do the good that I want to do, but I do the evil that I don't want to do.

(Romans 7:18-19)

Sometimes the thing you're searching for appears right in front of your face. That's how I felt when thinking about how to start this book. I was looking for a way to talk about the distance between God and us, and the reason that so many of us find that in one way or another, or many ways at once, we are a mess.

This was on my mind as I attended a three-day denominational meeting. Above the stage, a giant logo was projected onto the screen, showing a detail of Michelangelo's famous work The Creation of Adam, which was painted on the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

The image consists of two hands. The one on the right is the hand of God, reaching toward Adam, trying to make contact and infuse him with life. The hand on the left belongs to Adam, who reaches feebly back, fingers slack, as if thinking: I don't know. I kind of maybe want what God is offering. Sort of. Not sure. I hope to get around to it. I need to think about it awhile.

For three days I contemplated those two hands and was reminded how perfectly they portray the human condition. Though the fingers, hands, and arms gained my attention, I found the most interesting part of the picture to be the gap between God's finger and Adam's. It was the tiniest of gaps, but there was a Grand Canyon of distance within it.

What is represented in that gap? It is the almost of life — what we would have, and could be, if only we would reach toward God as energetically as God reaches toward us. That gap is the distance between the life we have and the life we want. It is the empty space in the relationship with God that we feel even as we long for full communion with the one who created us.

Michelangelo's work is based on Genesis 1:26:

Then God said, "Let us make humanity in our image to resemble us so that they may take charge of the fish of the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and all the crawling things on earth."

Art historian Paul Barolsky points out that Michelangelo departed from the depiction of God at creation offered by other artists of his time. They typically placed God either hovering above the earth at a great distance or standing on earth while creating humans and animals. Michelangelo did something far moredramatic and biblical. He showed God soaring toward Adam. When you stand in the Sistine Chapel and look at the piece, your eye will inevitably compare the figure of God in active pursuit to the figure of Adam in passive repose. Other than posture, the two are all but identical and give new meaning to the phrase, "Let us make humanity in our image."

At the same time, the artist brought to life another creation passage, Genesis 2:7:

The Lord God formed the human from the topsoil of the fertile land and blew life's breath into his nostrils. The human came to life.

Michelangelo depicted the moment when God imparted life and spirit to Adam. Here the imago Dei, the image of God, is completed.

Created in the Image of God

The Bible says we have been created in the image of God. Think about the implications of that for a moment. If you are in a place where there are other people, look around and see what they look like. If you can get to a mirror, hold it up and take yourself in for a moment. The Spirit of the Creator graces your countenance. It is in the face of the person next to you.

You knew this when you were a child. There has always been a part of you that you knew deserved some level of recognition by others. As an infant, when an adult seemed kind, you put your arms out so the person could pick you up and admire you more closely. When another kid in preschool was interested in the way you played with the construction toys on the playground, it made sense that she wanted to join you. At lunch in elementary school, when a boy paused near your table, as if he hoped for an invitation to sit down, you could see why. In those days you were comfortable with the fact that people liked to interact with you.

Likewise, as you grew older the opposite experiences hurt for the same reason. When you learned that a group of friends all went to the movies and didn't invite you, it stung. When you asked the girl for a date and she replied, "No, thanks," it didn't matter how nicely she said it; you experienced it as a denial of something good inside you. When your parents didn't notice how many hours you invested to make that B- in chemistry, it was disappointing. You wondered if it would always require the best mark before they would recognize the good that came from you.

This feeling of worth that you possess is not about you. It is not that you feel superior to others. What is happening in those moments is an unconscious realization that God is in you. Let me be clear. You are not God. But you were made by God. You were made in the image of God. The goodness of the Creator is stamped deep inside your being. That is your identity, and it can be your reference point. That is what theologians mean when they speak of being created in the imago Dei.

However, we have a problem. We often don't see the goodness of God that is right before our face, or in our face, as the case may be. And we often don't see it in each other.

My friend Erin told me of an embarrassing moment she had while walking her dog. In one garage that she passed, a couple was openly arguing. It was a heated exchange. They were inside the garage, but the door was up, so they could be seen and heard plainly. Because three walls surrounded them, they apparently felt as though no one else could hear them. Erin knew it was socially appropriate to keep looking forward and walk briskly past. Unfortunately her small terrier did not understand social conventions. He was fascinated by the sight of two humans exchanging verbal volleys. He went to the end of his leash. He paused and stared. His head moved back and forth, following the action. Erin gave him a gentle tug. He sat down. The dog was entranced by the way the people were treating each other. The man and woman continued their verbal sparring. Erin tugged again. The dog was going nowhere. She finally had to walk over, pick up the dog, and walk away. The couple in the garage never paused.

People can be a real mess. By "people" I mean me, you, and everybody else. We lose sight of the beauty God has placed in our own lives and the lives of others. Consider for a moment how many people you know who are doing great in every way. I'll bet there aren't many. Even those who appear to be fine from the outside are often dealing with inner difficulties.

Some difficulties are beyond our influence. We don't control cancer. We can't stop the flash flood that ruins our home. But most hardships are of our own making. He has maxed-out credit cards and unmanageable interest payments because of unchecked spending. She runs late all the time and compensates by driving too fast, and now if she gets one more ticket her license will be suspended and she will have no way to get to work. Many of us have unresolved issues in our past and habits we seem unable to give up, even though the negative impact is tangible.

This is the mess I am talking about. Think about your life. Now think about the people you love and care for. How many of them have a mess of some sort in their lives right now?

During an interview, actor Bill Murray was asked about being a bachelor. He had been married twice and was currently not in a relationship. Murray said it would be nice to have a female companion for wedding receptions or great trips. He added, "But there's a lot that I am not doing that I need to do. ... I don't have a problem connecting with people. My [issue] is connecting with myself...."

Then Murray shared a great insight into what keeps people from doing the deeper work of looking at their lives candidly: What stops [any of] us is we're kind of really ugly if we look really hard. We're not who we think we are. We're not as wonderful as we think we are. It's a little bit of a shock. ... It's hard.

When Bill Murray says that we're really kind of ugly, he is not talking about the image of God in which we were created. He's talking about something else. Theologians have a word for it. In plain English, it's called sin.

Looking at Sin

Sin is a word that people don't use as much as they once did. This is too bad, because it explains a lot of human behavior.

When I say sin, what comes to mind? You may think of individual moral failures, such as anger, abuse, assault, or adultery. That's four, and I haven't even exhausted the A's! Imagine if we walked through the alphabet. We may be safe at Z, but that's about it. Sin can also happen on a social scale, such as when a company allows effluent from its factory to despoil a nearby river, or when a society makes people live in a certain place because of their race. Sin also includes sins of omission, such as when someone drives past a motorist on the side of the road who is in obvious distress.

Any of these would be good examples of a sin. The ugliness that we see when we look hard at our lives, however, is something much broader. We don't struggle with a particular sin. We suffer from the condition of sin. We live in a state of sin, and it holds us captive and prevents us from experiencing the life that we could enjoy.

Think of sin as an illness that affects the condition of every human. This is often called original sin. Unfortunately, when people think of original sin they often go to the original humans, Adam and Eve, and wonder if one bite of an apple could really do so much generational harm. It seems silly to think that one act of disobedience set the entire human race off course. The issue, however, is far greater than a bite of apple. It is the state of willful disobedience against the good, just, and beautiful order that our Creator attempts to bring to our world and lives. The disobedience of Adam and Eve is similar to decisions all of us make. It is original in the sense that it is foundational. The problem is common to us all.

The Hebrew language has multiple words that can be translated into English as sin. I think one of the most descriptive is pasha, which means "to rebel" or "to revolt." Have you ever felt that you were rebelling against something but did not know what it was or why it was important to you? Have you ever felt drawn to something you knew was wrong and would eventually lead to harm but did it anyway?

We have been created in God's image, but we revolt against it. Think of the couple in the garage. Even a dog could see that it was not God's will for them to exchange harsh words in their supposed privacy, much less in front of their neighbors. Maybe that's why the terrier was so fascinated. In some ways we could say this same thing about any sin in our lives or the lives of others: clearly it is not God's will.

What's interesting is that often it's easy to see sin in the lives of others but hard to detect sin in our own. The problem is that our souls are sick. The condition of sin is the illness. The particular sin committed in a given moment is just a symptom of the deeper condition. As with a bad cough, just because you make it stop for a moment doesn't necessarily mean you are cured of the infection.

Not only is the soul sick; it has been sick for so long that we have grown accustomed to it. As a result, it's often easier to notice the health of righteousness than the illness of sin. That's why you feel so good when you help an elderly person pick up a bag of spilled groceries, but you may not feel bad or even notice when you yell at a guy who's driving too slow on a crowded freeway.

You can tell when you are dealing with the condition of sin in your life. Boundaries feel oppressive and ridiculous. You read the Bible and find its advice to be passé; obviously the Good Book simply does not understand your very special circumstances. A friend gently quotes a verse as a reminder, and you find yourself angry or hurt. This is the thinking that occurs when you have a big gap between you and God.

When the image of God is closer to the surface of your personality, the wisdom of the Bible reflects what you believe is true and good in the world and offers a protection from harm. Many years ago, my wife Karen and I were hiking in a national park out west. The trail took us down by a large creek that led to a river. We knew that the water was cold and fast-moving, but the sound drew us to the edge. There we found a sign with the words Stay back! If you fall in, you will die.

We did not question that sign. We did not think someone put it there to limit us or rob us of fun. We assumed it had been put there out of concern for our safety, and because of it we completed the journey we had begun with great memories. The difference between those two ways of thinking about the wisdom of the sign is an indicator of emotional, mental, and spiritual health. When we are experiencing the condition of sin at a full fever, there is noreasoning with us. When we are thinking clearly, we gain great perspective on the good intentions God has for us.

Think of sin as a thick film in your being that covers the image of God. I visited the Sistine Chapel recently and was surprised to find that the place looked new, even though it was centuries old. I learned that only a few years earlier it had undergone a full restoration. Through the centuries, the art in the Sistine Chapel had been affected by numerous elements including candle smoke, incense, pollution, dust, humidity, and the visitors who walk through daily. The stain caused by all those elements had muted the colors and details of Michelangelo's artistry.

On the Vatican grounds you will find exhibits that show the impact of the recent restoration. "Before" and "after" photographs demonstrate how clouded with grime and soot the paintings had become. With each frame you can see the work of the restoration process, first removing the grime coating and then restoring the color of the original work. Though the restoration project was not without controversy, its effect enables one to imagine the splendor of the day in the 1500s when people first beheld Michelangelo's work and the joy they must have found in its unveiling.

There are two things that I believe to be true about you and me: (1) We were created in God's image. This means we are greater masterpieces than the art Michelangelo left on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. (2) The grime of sin covers us and hides the great beauty God intended for us and the world to enjoy.

Some of us struggle to believe the first point. People sometimes convince us that we are of little worth, or we have experiences in life that harm us deeply, and as a result we can no longer sense our own beauty.

The second point, however, can be equally difficult to accept about ourselves. In fact, most of us either don't believe we need to change a whole lot or don't want to devote a great deal of energy to the effort. This may be why the word sin isn't used with as great a frequency as it was in the past. At our worst, we can often describe the changes others need to make and feel superior to them for sins they commit.

At a family gathering, two of the youngest members, girls who were about five at the time, were jumping on the couch together. One child's mother told them to stop before they hurt themselves or the couch. The girls did as they were told and played on the floor for a few minutes. Then they got back up on the couch and began bouncing again. As they were jumping, one child called to her mother, "Mommy, look at what she is doing!"

Ever noticed how easy it is to see the sins of others, and how difficult it is to accept that you have the same problem? But if you embrace the idea that there is a film of sin covering the masterpiece of God's image that is embossed on your being, it is possible to be open to a full restoration of what has been damaged. Through the grace of God and the work of Christ, you can be healed of what ails you. The Apostle Paul spoke of restoration when encouraging the church in Corinth:

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

(2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV)

The God of love and peace will indeed need to be with us if the image of God is to be restored in us. But it can happen. That may be why Jesus is often referred to as the Great Physician. He healed many with a variety of physical ailments. He is able to do the same for those who suffer from the various maladies of sin. However, we have to participate in our own healing.