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Dr. James H. Ritchie, Jr., a clergy member of the Western Pennsylvania Annual Conference. A native of Pittsburgh, PA Jim received his B.A. from Mount Union College in Alliance, Ohio; his M.Div. from United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio; and his Ed.D. in religious education from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. Jim is a consultant and is called upon regularly to lead inter-generational experiences and to teach in various settings on the subjects of children and worship, music and education, curriculum and human sexuality education for children.

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Created by God Parent Guide

Abingdon Press

Contents

We're in This Together...........................................5Getting the Conversation Started.................................7Join the Team....................................................8We're Not Isolated...............................................9Why the Church?..................................................11What Will They Learn?............................................13Are Tweens Ready for This?.......................................14They're on the Grow..............................................15Beyond Their Years...............................................16Sensitive Issues.................................................18Importance of Full Participation.................................21Now It's Time....................................................22Created by God Overview..........................................23A Biblical Foundation for Created by God.........................25Additional Resources for Parents and Tweens......................28A Family Ritual for Beginning Created by God.....................31

Chapter One

Welcome

You are the parents of a tween, nearly a teenager. This came kind of fast, didn't it? And now it's time to make sure your son or daughter is fully informed about sexuality, his or her body, and God's wonderful plan for us. It seems just weeks ago you were the parent of a newborn!

The good news is that you are not alone. By participating in Created by God, you are forming a partnership with your church and family of faith. That's a great connection! Through this experience, you and your daughter or son will share increased open communication for years to come, and your tween will have correct sexuality information presented within Christian values and an emphasis on abstinence.

This isn't the first sexuality information your child has received. You have been your child's primary sexuality education since birth! You haven't talked about this? No matter! All parents are providing sexuality education whether or not they have intentionally embraced that task. Some parents are willing and able to assist their sons and daughters in assimilating accurate anatomical and reproductive information and in adopting healthy attitudes, but most often home instruction is the result of simple observation.

From birth, children observe their parents interacting with each other and with other adults. That's the way they learn how women and men are, their roles, and their "worth," at least according to your family. They observe the similarities and the differences in how parents interact with sons and with daughters, the expectations and the allowed behaviors. Children watch and listen to how parents react to off-color jokes, how they use slang terms for the human body and bodily functions, and how parents react to the presence of stated or implied sexuality in the media. Children listen to language and note parents' level of comfort and discomfort when persons speak in a direct manner about sexuality.

Regardless of the degree, sexuality education is taking place in your home. That's where it starts, for better or for worse. The support of the church—through relationships, resources, and educational opportunities—will strengthen your child's experience of sexuality education and will shape the sexuality understandings for a lifetime.

Getting the Conversation Started

Many parents have not had much experience using proper terminology about bodies and sexuality. Many parents never had anyone talk to them about sex and have done little talking themselves. This can be radically new territory!

Parents who have experienced human sexuality studies with their sons and daughters often comment that the greatest blessing has been the strengthening of communication with their tweens. Some of those conversations are about sex; some aren't. What's important is that parents and tweens are communicating.

Reading Created by God together can initiate such conversation. With joint reading, parents know that their children have been exposed to concepts and terminology related to sexuality. The young persons know the same about parents. Not only does everyone know that everyone else knows about sex, they also have opportunities to ask questions. Likewise, following the Created by God experience, especially including the closing Parent/Tween session with either the Parent/Tween Directed Conversation or the Fishbowl Activity, tweens and parents recognize that they can talk about this formerly sensitive subject together. You're actually much closer to "the same page" than they had thought!

Join the Team

Involvement in a group study provides a broader information base as well as a wider diversity of perspectives on human sexuality. In entering into group conversation, we recognize that none of us has the answers, nor is one opinion or perspective right. Within the body of Christ there is a broader vision—a vision that is rooted in a common commitment to Christ and a common desire to discover the will of God for all of our human relationships. The Study Leader, Small Group Leaders, and community of parents and tweens will work together to provide one another with new understandings, common experiences, and a revived sense of what it means to say we have been and are being created by God.

Teaching our children about sex and sexuality is not easy—particularly when we wish to do so with an emphasis on Christian values. We believe that the partnership of parents and church, joining together in a special covenant, is the strongest and most effective approach. You, Mom or Dad, are your child's primary mentor when it comes to human sexuality education. The church and Created by God are here to help you with your task.

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Excerpted from Created by God Parent Guideby James H Ritchie Copyright © 2010 by The United Methodist Publishing House. Excerpted by permission of Abingdon Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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