When men experience a loss, their first step may be to move inward into their solitude, where they can express themselves, confront what has happened, deal with feelings, and begin to sort out their next steps. Typically, this process helps them to eventually move beyond their solitude and into relationship again with the significant people in their lives. This book explores why this process may be important for men, tells stories of men coping with loss, and looks at gender difference in grief and the various doors into the core of grief. In addition, it examines how to be helpful to men working through loss, as well as how men can affirm and understand a way of grieving and healing that fits them. The first three chapters offer some background on the anatomy of grief; the anthropological imprint and grief; and socialization, rituals, and the importance of honoring male grief. Chapter 4 looks at gender difference and coping, and chapter 5 examines eight different doors into the grief process. Chapter 6 explores the role of solitude in grief. Chapter 7 focused on the role of the witness and introduces Stan, a World War II veteran, and his story. Chapter 8 sets out 11 ways to be helpful to men in grief. The final chapter directly address men in grief, outlining what you need to know when you are the man in grief.
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Dan Duggan has spent over 40 years working with men and grief in a number of capacities while serving congregations, hospitals (psychiatric and medical), hospices and a retirement community. Currently, he serves as the Director of Clinical Pastoral Education for Goodwin House as well as the Director of Chaplaincy at Goodwin House Bailey’s Crossroads. He is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church, USA. He and his wife, Jan, live in Alexandria, Virginia. Their children and spouses are Josh (and Jaclyn), Whitney (and Sam), and Drew (and Kristin).
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