The Official Guide to Dysfunctional Parenting - Tapa blanda

Cry over spilt milk. Remind them to always look happy in front of your friends. Nervously suggest they shouldn't go into the basement after dark and don't explain why. Attend parent-teacher night in a blue bunny suit."

Frederick Muench and Gregory Nemec offer a humorous account of all the little things parents can do to put the "fun" in "dysfunctional family." Parents of wayward children will no longer have to scratch their heads and wonder where they went wrong. By following this simple, straightforward manual, parents will know exactly why Susie's in rehab, John's in therapy, and Lucy's incarcerated.

In pithy, bitingly irreverent text accompanied by 60 funny illustrations, this book includes such useful tips as:

* A child can't cry or complain if his mouth is full of doughnuts.

* Gifts make up for not being there.

* Don't put your kids in your will, or they may kill you.

Frederick Muench is a clinical psychologist and director of clinical research and development at Helicor, Inc, a stress-management and biofeedback company. He was formerly on the faculty at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons and maintains an adjunct faculty position at NYU. He lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Gregory Nemec is a freelance illustrator and teacher. He runs a once-a-week program at a preschool and teaches everything from drawing to animation to grade-school students. His illustrations have appeared in many books and periodicals. He lives in Pleasantville, N.Y.