Session 1

Life Is to be loved by God

Welcome

Welcome to the first session of Life Is _____. For the next six weeks, you will be exploring with your group how to find true fulfillment and significance in life.

During this first week, you will discover with your group how "life is ... to be loved by God." Being aware of God's love is foundational for everything we do in life. It is a truth that will change your perspective about yourself, about others, and about life itself.

Whether you have been following Jesus for years or aren't even sure God exists, you are welcome on this journey. The group will provide a safe place for you to think, share, and ask questions as you work through the topics. It will provide a place where you can belong, no matter what stage of the journey you are on. It's going to be an amazing few weeks.

As we begin today, find someone near you — a friend or maybe someone you've never met before — and ask each other the following questions:

• Have you ever been lost before? Describe the event briefly.

• How did you feel when you realized you were lost?

• How did you feel when you finally found your way?

Video Teaching

The following are a few key thoughts to note as you watch session one of the video. Use the space provided to jot down personal observations or applications.

Love is the major theme of this life and our existence. And not just any love, but God's love for you and for me. Our significance and our identity can be summed up in the word love.

Life starts not with our love but with us being loved — with us discovering how much God loves us.

In John 3:16 we read, "God so loved the world" (NIV). That includes bad people. In fact, God is obsessed with evil, sinful, bad people. His love for us is passionate and even illogical. He loves us whether we recognize and reciprocate his love or not.

Love finds its maximum expression in Jesus. Jesus died for us at the chance — at the mere possibility — that we would accept him. God gave Jesus to us with no strings attached and with no guarantees. This is how risky and ridiculous God's love for humanity is.

Life begins with us realizing the value we have before God. He is obsessed with us. He knows every detail and every nook and cranny of our lives.

The story of Hosea and Gomer in the Old Testament is one of the most beautiful and scandalous pictures of what God has done for humanity. It illustrates his shocking, relentless love for you and for me. We already belong to God, yet he paid to buy back what was already his — and the price he paid was the life of his son, Jesus.

We find our value not in things, status, and influence, but in the fact that the most powerful being in the universe is completely obsessed with us. He desires for all people to come to know him.

We have the privilege to tell people everywhere about the unconditional, relentless love of God for them.

Our journey during these next few weeks begins not with us trying to figure out things using our own intellect, but with Jesus and with God's love. It begins with the one who cares about us at our best and at our worst.

Group Discussion

Take a few moments to discuss the following questions with your group.

1. Have you ever wondered what life is all about? What answers did you come up with? What answers have you heard from others?

2. How important is love to human beings? Why do you think it is so important?

3. Why is God's love for us more important than any other kind of love — including our love for him?

4. What does the phrase "God so loved the world" in John 3:16 tell us about God's love? How big is his love? Who does he love?

5. How is God's love different from the love we usually receive and give to each other here on earth?

6. How does the fact that Jesus became a man show us that God is interested in our existence and in the details of our lives?

7. In the story of Hosea and Gomer, who does Hosea represent? Who does Gomer represent? What does this story tell us about God's love toward us?

8. When it comes to sharing Jesus with other people, what is the essence of our message? What do we tell them about his love?

Closing Prayer

Close your time together in prayer. Here are a few ideas of what you could pray about based on the topic of this session:

• Pray that God will guide you on your journey of discovery with Jesus, regardless of where you are in the process.

• Pray that you will really understand and believe how much God loves you.

• Pray that God's love would be real to you in your daily activities — that you would think about it, enjoy it, and let it affect your emotions, words, and choices.

• Pray that you will be able to show God's love to other people this week.

Weekly Challenge

Sometime during the week — maybe even tomorrow morning — take this simple, practical step to help you put into words what God's love means for you:

Find a quiet place and spend a few minutes thinking about God's love. Write down your thoughts. It doesn't have to be polished, professional, or perfect — this is for your eyes only. For example, you could ask yourself:

• What are some words that describe God's love?

• What is hard for me to understand or believe about his love?

• Have I seen his love in action in my life? In what ways?

Then, if you're comfortable doing so, meet with another Jesus-follower, maybe even a member of this small group — over coffee, lunch, or even the phone — and share together your understanding of God's love and how that affects your life.

Recommended Reading

Review the introduction and chapters 1 and 2 in the book Life Is _____. Use the space provided to write any key points or questions you want to bring to the next group meeting.

God loves the whole world. Not just the good part of the world or the part of the world that would someday love him back, but the whole world.

God loves everyone, all the time, with a love so extravagant and generous that our human minds can't wrap around it. God's love is indiscriminate. It's illogical. It's never-ending. God loved us before we knew about him or cared about him, and he'll continue to love us whether we reciprocate that love or not.

When God says, "I love you," it's more than just a nice way to get you to close your eyes and go to sleep. It's not an empty phrase spoken out of habit or a spiritual obligation because he's God and he has to love everybody. It's a heartfelt expression of his passion for you.

We get to spend the rest of our lifetimes enjoying and exploring that love.

• Do you ever find yourself wondering if God really loves you? What concerns or doubts do you have about God's love for you?

• How is God's love better than typical human love?

• How does understanding God's love for you affect your day-to-day life?

Day 2: It's Not What You Do

One of the first questions people ask each other when they meet for the first time is, "What do you do?" What they are asking for, of course, is an occupation or job title.

I'm never sure how to answer this question. I'm a pastor first and foremost, but not everyone is comfortable with that title. When I introduce myself, some people look confused. Others look guilty, as if I see their secret sins and am judging them. Sometimes the atmosphere turns Arctic, and I can tell the person has had an unpleasant experience with church or with pastors in the past. Some people become hyper-religious. As soon as they hear I'm a pastor, they offer to pray for our dinner, and they pray with so much zeal, passion, and holy jargon that the roast chicken almost resurrects.

Actually, I disagree with the premise behind the question. Why is what we do so important? Why do we care so much about a person's occupation? Is that really what gives us value or makes us worth relating to?

Yes, I'm a pastor. But I'm also a speaker and a writer. I'm a husband and a father. I'm a golfer with delusions of grandeur and anger management issues. I'm a friend. I'm a Christian. I'm a work in progress. And that barely scratches the surface of who I really am.

My real problem with the whole "what do you do?" approach to relationship is that it's the exact opposite of God's approach. God's love doesn't start with what we do but with who he is. Here's how Paul describes it in a letter to the Christians at Rome:

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one — for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one — for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God's right hand, pleading for us ... I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love (Romans 8:31–34, 38).

God is love. Love isn't just what he does; it's who he is. And his love is directed toward you and me regardless of our behavior, our mood, or our response.

God loved us before we did anything. His love is not a function of what we do; it's an inevitable and unstoppable result of his nature.

What does that mean for us? It means we don't have to earn God's love. Some of us think that every time we pray we have to show God our résumé. We have to recite a list of our successes in order to convince God to be on our side. But we don't have to prove our worth to him.

Trust me, you can't impress God with what you do. Whatever you can do, Jesus can do it a whole lot better.

He already did it better, actually. Jesus lived the life we could never live: free from errors, faults, mistakes, and sins. He impressed God so we wouldn't have to. He lived free from sin because we would never have been able to.

When we put our trust in Jesus, his victory becomes ours. When he died on the cross, he took the penalty for our sins. We don't need to carry that weight anymore, because it went to the grave with Jesus.

Now we relate to God as if we had never sinned. Our mistakes are forgiven, forgotten, and forever gone. We are as righteous as Jesus is in God's eyes. We don't need to impress God with what we do, because he's already more in love with us and more proud of us than we could ever comprehend.

God wants us to do our best and to live right. He's happy that we try to be good, and he's proud of our progress and our victories. But for better or for worse, our behavior doesn't alter his love. He loves us as much now as he'll ever love us.

So stop doing for a minute and just let God love you. It will change everything.

• Do you ever find yourself trying to talk God into helping you based on your efforts or merits? Why do you think you tend to take that approach?

• Paul writes in Romans 8:38 that "nothing can ever separate us from God's love." Do you ever have trouble believing God could love you? What situations in life could make you doubt God's love?

• How does relaxing and letting God love you unconditionally help you be a better person?

Day 3: Love Is a Person

According to every sci-fi movie I've ever seen (which isn't saying much), robots aren't supposed to have feelings. Fear, hate, happiness — and most of all, love — are human emotions.

Of course, because emotionless robots are boring, most of these movies also include an exception to the no-feelings rule. Take WALL-E, for example. I realize WALL-E probably doesn't qualify as a sci-fi movie for most people, but when you have three young kids, that's about as edgy as it gets.

In the movie, the main character is a robot who can't speak, but he still conveys his love for a fellow robot in a way that makes you think he's almost human. Despite being basically a tin can with circuit boards and lights, you identify with him, cheer for him, and even love him back. Why? Because he loves, and his love draws you in.

Now, for all you pet lovers out there, I realize emo-robots aren't the only creatures with feelings. Animals can love too. Or so I'm told. I do not speak from personal experience, because I have issues with pets. More specifically, I have issues with slobber and hair and bodily functions and howling and things that crawl in bed with me at night uninvited.

But animals and robots aside, I am convinced that love is first and foremost a human emotion. We love because we are humans, and because we are humans, we love.

It's no accident that we are wired this way. Love is part of who we are because we were created in God's image. God is love, and love is a reflection of God:

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:7–8).

God's love is far more than a concept or a philosophy or a chemical reaction. That's where a lot of us get hung up. We try to visualize God's love, but his love is so much bigger than ours that we can't figure out how to apply it to our lives.

So here's the bottom line. God's love is a person, and his name is Jesus.

When Jesus came to this planet, he didn't just talk about love, preach about love, and demonstrate love. He was love. He was God's love in physical, tangible form. He didn't have to try to love bad people — it was the most natural thing in the world for him, because he was and is love.

Many of us can probably talk about God's love on a doctrinal level, but can we imagine Jesus walking up to us and giving us a big hug? That thought actually makes some people feel uncomfortable. Why? Maybe it seems undignified, or maybe they don't feel worthy.

But that's exactly the point. Jesus shows us just how real and tangible and practical God's love is. His love is aimed directly at you and me even when — especially when — we are at our lowest point.

If you're having trouble believing that God loves you, or if you can't quite visualize what God's love looks like, just look at Jesus. Think about Jesus. Get to know Jesus in your day-to-day existence.

When you meet Jesus, you meet love.

• Is it hard for you to visualize God's love? Why?

• What does the phrase "God is love" mean to you?

• How does knowing Jesus help you understand God's love?

• How does knowing Jesus help you show love to other people?

Day 4: When Love Hides

My wife, Chelsea, and I have been married for fifteen years, and our marriage and our love are stronger than ever. I deserve approximately five percent of the credit for this. Anyone who knows us will tell you that Chelsea is the reason our marriage is so amazing. I'm a lucky man.

You learn a lot about love when you've been married for fifteen years. For one thing, you learn that love is way more than just being with someone who makes you happy. Stand-up comedians make me happy, but I don't love them. Massage techs at those airport massage stands make me happy, but I don't love them. Happy feelings are great, and marriage should generally be a happy experience, but happiness by itself is superficial and even selfish compared to true love.

You also learn a lot about conflict resolution when you've been married for fifteen years. That's another term for fighting, but it sounds better. Specifically, you learn what not to say in the heat of the battle. Which is pretty much anything except, "I'm sorry, it was my fault." Just kidding. Actually, I'm not.

There are good ways and bad ways to deal with conflicts in any relationship. Learning to "fight right" will literally save your marriage and your friendships. Sometimes people think conflict is a sign that love has died. I think conflict proves love is stronger than ever. Here's why. If we didn't love the person with whom we are disagreeing, we would just walk away. Ain't nobody got time for that.

But we do love that person, so we stick around and work through the messiness that is love. That's when true love shines. Our love is strongest when our feelings are weakest.

One of the keys to marital success is to be able to trust love even when we can't see it or feel it or understand it. The same goes for our walk with God. I wish I could say that our relationship with God will always be happy. But just like any other relationship, there will be tense, confusing, and seemingly contradictory moments.

In those times, it can be tempting to conclude that God doesn't love us. We don't feel his love. We don't see his love. Things are happening that don't seem congruent with a God who is love.

God knows that life can feel this way. This is why the apostle John — who is called the "apostle of love" because he is so famous for his understanding of God's love — wrote this:

All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love (1 John 4:15–16).

Trust God's love, even when you can't see it. Trust his love for you. Trust that he is on your side, that he is with you, that he is for you, that he cares about your pain, and that he is actively working to meet your needs. Don't ever give up on his love.

Here's the crazy part. Even if you do give up on his love, he never gives up on you. He loved you before you loved him, and he'll love you to the end of your days whether you respond to him or not.