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Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, DC. One church with multiple locations, NCC owns and operates Ebenezers Coffeehouse, the Miracle Theatre, and the DC Dream Center. NCC is currently developing a city block into the Capital Turnaround; the 100,000-square-foot space will include an event venue, a child development center, a mixed-use marketplace, and a coworking space. Mark holds a doctor of ministry degree from Regent University and is the New York Times bestselling author of twenty books including The Circle Maker, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, Wild Goose Chase, Play the Man, Whisper, and recently released Win the Day. Mark and his wife, Lora, have three children and live on Capitol Hill.

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Praying Circles around Your Children

Zondervan

Contents

1. The Greatest Legacy You Can Leave................................72. The Legend of the Circle Maker...................................193. Five Prayer Circles..............................................354. The 1st Circle: Circling the Promises of God.....................435. The 2nd Circle: Making Prayer Lists..............................556. The 3rd Circle: Creating Prayer Mantras..........................657. The 4th Circle: Forming Prayer Circles...........................758. The 5th Circle: Praying through the Bible........................879. Holy Complications...............................................97Notes...............................................................105Bible Versions Cited................................................107

Chapter One

I want to be famous in my home.

This is the deepest desire of my heart and the greatest challenge of my life. Parenting our three children is far more difficult and far more important than pastoring thousands of people. Just the other day, I said to Lora, "I feel like we'll finally figure out this parenting thing the same day our kids leave home!"

The truth is, we'll never figure it out, because children are moving targets. Just when you think you have them pegged, they become toddlers or teenagers or twenty-somethings, and you're right back at square one. All you can do is learn a few lessons along the way and enjoy the journey. I have discovered one thing, however, that makes all the difference in the world.

Make sure the heavenly Father hears about your kids daily!

Bad News, Good News, and Great News

Right at the outset, let me give you some bad news, some good news, and some great news about parenting and praying for your children.

The bad news first: You'll make a lot of mistakes.

You'll lose your patience. You'll lose your temper. You might even lose your mind a time or two. If you feel like a failure at the end of most days, welcome to my world. My parenting ineptitude is epitomized by one shining moment when our oldest son, Parker, was a toddler. He had a fitful night full of tears, and I couldn't understand why. Then he crawled into our room in the middle of the night. I was too tired to take him back to his bed, so I reached down to pull him into ours. That's when I realized why he had been crying. A bare butt was the tip-off that I had forgotten to put a diaper on him when I put him to bed.

It's amazing our kids even survive our parenting, isn't it?

While we're on the subject, the word diaper spelled backward is repaid. So apropos!

Now here's the good news: Your worst mistakes double as your greatest opportunities.

How will your kids learn to apologize unless you model it for them, to them? Your mistakes give you the opportunity to teach them one of the most important lessons they'll ever learn—how to say "I'm sorry."

I have a very simple parenting philosophy that boils down to just three words: please, sorry, and thanks. If all else fails, I want to teach my kids to be really good at saying these words. And then doing them. If they master these three words, they're well on their way to great marriages, great friendships, or great relationships with God.

Finally, here's the great news: Prayer covers a multitude of sins.

You don't have to do everything right as a parent, but there is one thing you cannot afford to get wrong. That one thing is prayer. You'll never be a perfect parent, but you can be a praying parent. Prayer is your highest privilege as a parent. There is nothing you can do that will have a higher return on investment. In fact, the dividends are eternal.

Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows.

Prayer Genealogy

The blood running through my veins is 50 percent Swedish. I trace my genealogy back through the Johansson family, who made a decision to get on a boat and come to America in the late nineteenth century. That single decision set off a chain reaction that radically altered the destiny of every descendant to follow. That one decision made its mark on children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren in more ways than I can possibly imagine.

Just as one decision can change your destiny, so can one prayer. If you were to map out your spiritual history, you would find countless answers to prayer at key intersections along the way. Before you were even born, even named, many of you had parents and grandparents who prayed for you. At critical ages and stages, family and friends interceded on your behalf. And thousands of complete strangers have prayed for you in ways you aren't even aware of. The sum total of those prayers is your prayer genealogy.

It's like your tree of life, your tree of Adam.

I believe that every blessing, every breakthrough, every miracle traces back to the prayers that were prayed by you or for you. One of the greatest moments in eternity will be the day God peels back the space-time curtain and unveils His sovereignty by connecting the divine dots between our prayers and His answers. That infinite web of prayer crisscrosses every nation, every generation. And when God finally reveals His strange and mysterious ways, it will drop us to our knees in worship. We will thank Him for the prayers He did answer. We'll also thank Him for the prayers He didn't answer because we'll finally understand why. And we'll thank Him for the answered prayers we weren't even aware of.

My grandfather Elmer Johnson died when I was just six years old, but his prayers did not. Our prayers never die. They live on in the lives of those we prayed for. Some of the most poignant and providential moments in my life have been the moments when the Spirit of God has whispered to my spirit, Mark, the prayers of your grandfather are being answered in your life right now.

My Grandpa Johnson had a habit of kneeling by his bed at night, taking off his hearing aid, and praying for his family. He couldn't hear himself, but everyone else in the house could. Few things are more powerful than hearing someone intercede on your behalf. His voiceprint left an imprint on my soul.

I'm following in my grandfather's footsteps by getting on my knees and praying next to my bed. It's a great way to start the day. My first thoughts and words are directed toward God. I also pray for my sleeping beauty lying a few feet away.

I realize not everyone inherited a prayer legacy from their parents or grandparents like I did, but you can leave a legacy for future generations. You can start a new tradition, a new tree. You can begin a new prayer genealogy.

The Most Important Ten Minutes of the Day

The most important ten minutes of my day are the ten minutes I spend with my kids right before they leave for school. For many years, I felt like a failure when it came to leading my family in devotions. I could never seem to find a rhythm or a routine. It felt like one failed attempt after another. Then, the week before Parker started high school, Lora and I were on our Monday morning coffee date. Since I preach on Sundays, Monday is our Sabbath. We talk about our marriage, our kids, our calendar, and our finances. During the course of this particular conversation, I confessed my feeling of failure—and that's when Lora shared something her dad did, which I decided to adopt.

My father-in-law prayed with more intensity and more consistency than anybody I've ever known. That's why I dedicated The Circle Maker to Bob Schmidgall. He prayed about everything. In fact, when I asked him if I could marry his daughter, he literally said, "Let me pray about it." That'll put the fear of God in you! Especially when he didn't check back in for a week!

Bob Schmidgall was extraordinarily busy pastoring the church he founded in Naperville, Illinois, but he found time to do devotions with his four children every day before school. In the spirit of full disclosure, the teenaged Lora didn't always enjoy those devotions. What teenager does? But more than a decade after her dad's death, those times they spent together are treasured memories. Those devotions were a daily touchpoint with her dad.

One of the great challenges with family devotions is finding a consistent time and place to pray together. It's not easy when your kids are playing soccer, taking piano lessons, participating in a school club, and taking swim lessons. And that's probably just one of your children! So how do you find a rhythm? I think it starts with looking at your daily routines. It makes sense to pray with your young children before bed because you tuck them in every night. With older children, it's more difficult because they probably will be staying up later than you do.

When Lora shared the story about morning devotions with her dad, it was a revelation. I knew I needed to leverage the first few minutes of the day before the day got away from me. So beginning on Parker's first day of high school, I started reading the Bible and praying with him. Does every devotional time seem like a success? Hardly. Are there days when we're running late and have to scoot out of the house? Absolutely. But I'm determined to have a daily devotion with my children, and this touch point is the most important ten minutes of my day. It's the most important meeting of the day. Why? Because I love my children so much more than anybody I'll meet with the rest of the day. And while every devotional time doesn't result in an epiphany, some of those touch points have turned into turning points.

Long After You Die

I know it's hard to find a consistent time and place to pray, but where there's a will, there's a way. And when it's God's will, God will help make a way.

Susanna Wesley gave birth to nineteen children, including John and Charles, the founders of the Methodist movement. There is no finding a quiet place to pray when you live in a small house with that many kids, but this reality didn't keep Susanna from praying. She would sit in her rocking chair in the middle of the living room, put a blanket over herself, and intercede for her children.

Our excuses just went away, didn't they? Your children need to see and hear you praying. It doesn't matter whether it's in a prayer closet or a prayer chair. You can turn your commute or your workout into prayer times. When you make their beds or fold their clothes, pray for them. Go into their bedrooms while they're sleeping, kneel next to their beds, and pray over them.

You don't become a praying parent by default. You do it by design, by desire, by discipline. Spiritual disciplines take sheer determination, but if you determine to circle your children in prayer, you will shape their destinies, just like Susanna Wesley shaped the destinies of her children. Your prayers will live on in their lives long after you die.

Your prayers for your children are the greatest legacy you can leave.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Praying Circles around Your Childrenby Mark Batterson Copyright © 2012 by Mark Batterson. Excerpted by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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