21 DAYS TO TRANSFORM, TRANSCEND, AND TREASURE YOUR LIFE is a collection of twenty-one life lessons that invite you to look at your life, listen to your heart, learn from your daily experiences, and love the life you have been given. Through daily reflection, you will be encouraged to re-invent your life, your direction, and your destiny by breaking open the hidden treasure that rests within your heart. Reflect on how to: · Listen to your heart and know the truth when you hear it. · Have the courage to listen to and follow your intuition. · Have confidence in knowing that you have the right to a loving and abundant life. · View your life in a positive light, and know that the choice of your experience lies in your hands. · Change your life instantly by changing your point of view. · Live the life of your dreams, with your vision and design. · Know your worth and worthiness, and reflect that to the world. The twenty-one life lessons related in TRANSFORM, TRANSCEND, AND TREASURE YOUR LIFE offer you the gift of a richer, more meaningful life, created by you, one day at a time.

21 Days to Transform, Transcend, and Treasure Your Life

By Rebecca Herrera

BALBOA PRESS

Copyright © 2012 Rebecca Herrera
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-5183-8

Contents

Introduction....................................................................ixChapter 1: What Comes From The Heart Goes To The Heart..........................1Chapter 2: New Beginnings.......................................................4Chapter 3: Listen To Your Heart.................................................7Chapter 4: When You're Grateful It's Hard To Be Hateful.........................9Chapter 5: Whispers In The Desert...............................................12Chapter 6: A Stroke Of Blessing.................................................16Chapter 7: Wish I Would Have....................................................20Chapter 8: Enduring Or Enjoying.................................................23Chapter 9: Beautiful And Blessed................................................27Chapter 10: That's What I Like About You........................................30Chapter 11: The Mirror Of Possibilities.........................................33Chapter 12: Marble Cake With Whipped Cream Frosting.............................36Chapter 13: What Would Delight You..............................................39Chapter 14: The Emerald City....................................................42Chapter 15: The Power Of Pruning................................................44Chapter 16: One White Line At A Time............................................47Chapter 17: Do For You What You Do For the Crew.................................49Chapter 18: Believing In Your Dreams............................................52Chapter 19: What You Wish For Another-You Wish For Yourself.....................55Chapter 20: All Things Are Possible.............................................58Chapter 21: Life Through The Eyes Of A Painted Lady.............................61

Chapter One

What Comes From The Heart Goes To The Heart

I was watching the Kennedy Center for the Arts awards for achievement in entertainment somewhere around the approach of the New Year. Barbara Streisand was being recognized for her great achievements and enormous talent. Something struck me deeply as they were reviewing her accomplishments, something that she said. She said "what comes from the heart goes to the heart".

Thinking about her music and the passion that it holds, this phrase had rich meaning for me. She touches people profoundly as she sings, because it comes from a depth of passion and purity that she truly feels, singing from her heart.

So many times we make decisions about how to live our lives, that aren't our hearts desires, they are based on what someone else thinks we should do or be. We live lives that have been chosen by some religious belief, family belief, or cultural belief, never feeling satisfied. We spend so much time living those lives that we lose ourselves, and our true passions, content to just get through it. What if we chose to live from the heart?

How could it be that I understood this principle, and what it meant to live from the heart, yet I was experiencing a lack of fulfillment in my own life? Externally everything looked fine, what more could I want. Yet my days were filled with doing things because I thought it was what I should do. I was living in a way that was right, or correct according to standards of what should be, or how someone else said I should live my life. I was trying to do the things in my life that could make me the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, and unexpectedly the perfect mother. Striving for perfection, and never achieving it. Trying to make people love me because I did all the right things, and remaining empty in the process.

My mind was carried away to my own mother, who I remembered as being unhappy and discontent when I was growing up. In later years she had related to me that she had lived her life to please others. She told me that she felt like she had to do things to please other people, and had not been able to have the life she wanted, and in the process felt this discontent.

I told her that is how I remembered her, as being unhappy, appearing unsatisfied. She was shocked, as she thought she had hidden it well. She couldn't hide her true feelings and ultimate displeasure with much of her life, not feeling able to live from her heart.

Here I was at the end of the year, reflecting on the successes and yet surprising pain and revelation that had left me shattered, completely broken. The year had been filled with blessing, the most financially prosperous year in my business, numerous new clients, and because of this success I had been able to bless my parents in ways that I had never imagined. My son was healthy, whole, and developing into a delightful companion. I was married to a handsome man, with a charming personality, kind, loving, sincere, out-going and engaged in life. We never fought, and lived together comfortably. What more could I want?

Something was desperately wrong, something missing. I longed for true happiness and could not find it. The year had been strained for my husband and me, something unspoken, but very real. I found myself feeling angry for no reason, seeing my mother's reflection when I looked in the mirror.

I sensed the quiet discontent even more in him. Finally the truth, after many difficult months, the bombshell; he didn't love me and said he never had loved me. Fourteen years spent together, 13 of those years married, he never loved me.

After surviving the initial blow, New Years day was the best day of life in many years, because it was a day of cleansing and renewal. My husband sobbed with grief over his thoughts and emotions, sharing the truths that had been hidden in his heart all these years. We finally knew each other's true emotions, and the pain we had both been living through.

As he told me what his true feelings were, they had been my feelings all along. We had both been living lives that were less than living fully, lives without a spark between us. We were just getting by, just getting through it, not fully engaged in living an emotionally abundant life.

My husband made a difficult decision to tell me that as much as he cared for and admired me, he was not, nor had ever been madly in love with me. As we talked about all the years, I realized that I had felt the same as he did. I recognized his qualities that should have made him perfect, but longed for love that was different than he could give me, never being satisfied. I was willing to just get through it, it wasn't that bad. We had both been living the same empty experience.

On that New Years day we began a new life, confirming that we needed to dissolve our marriage. It was a day of release, a new future for all of us, and a hope for our son to experience the fullness of life lived honestly, straight from the heart. From that day forward we began to experience a new way of living, a life that is only revealed through the breaking open of the heart, having the courage to transform our experiences, by searching for the treasure of our hearts true desires.

Chapter Two

New Beginnings

Is it possible that 2 simple words, spoken in sincerity could release the captive spirit? Friday the 13th was an emotional day, ironic that on that day I was on my way to sit before a judge and have a marriage of 13 years dissolved. As I made my morning coffee I reflected on 13 years prior having prepared to leave for the church to get married.

Now, 13 years and 2 months later, I was preparing to leave for the final divorce proclamation. My eyes filled with tears recalling my wedding day and how we had knelt before the priest at the altar, in front of family and friends, side by side. Now we would sit side by side in a courtroom without family and friends, a lonely moment.

My dear friend from years past had sent me an e-mail reminding me that "the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want", that I should leave everything in God's hands. I calmly readied myself for the moment. Walking through the parking lot towards the courthouse, I heard another part of the 23rd Psalm quietly in my head, "he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul". That's what I most deeply wanted in this moment; restoration of my soul.

I entered the courthouse looking for the courtroom, and waited patiently for the appointed time. As my almost ex-husband and I entered the courtroom, we sat in back, side by side as I had imagined in the morning. I felt his presence next to me as I had so many times before, and we watched as a couple going through divorce difficulty was called to the table.

The man sat on the far end of the table, next to his attorney. The woman sat on the opposite end of the table, representing herself, yet with a county intervention specialist by her side. The former couple did not speak, nor look at each other. It was a sad state of affairs, and a long grueling recitation of wrongs done, and continuing to be done. I so did not want to be that couple.

Mr. and Mrs. Herrera, it was our turn, the last time to be referred to as Mr. and Mrs., the last time to be Mrs. Herrera. I turned to my husband and said, "I want the best for you". We sat side by side at the table, representing ourselves. It felt comfortable, yet sad.

I had humorous memories of our wedding day as the judge got our divorce papers out of order and couldn't figure out where missing documents were. I guess I forgot we were in court, and had to be the ever comedian, stating "this is just like our wedding day when they couldn't find the Spanish bible". I guess that's now in court records, along with my answer to "are you currently pregnant". My answer was met with a burst of laughter in the courtroom, which for a moment diverted my attention and softened the pain.

When the proceedings were finished, we went for a cup of coffee to discuss a few financial arrangements. I hadn't planned for this moment, or the feelings that I had, but I had to do it. I told him that I wanted to ask his forgiveness for words I may have said to him throughout this process, and the series of emotional injuries that had caused me to become enraged.

I had been overcome with anger and rage over the past few months, over hurtful revelations, unable to release the feelings. We had not been speaking, and it had become unbearable. I asked his forgiveness, and said I was sorry for anything that I had done to hurt him. I also told him that I forgave him for the things that he had done that had hurt me so deeply. My eyes welled up with tears, his eyes welled up with tears, and I told him I wanted to leave everything in this place today. I didn't want to leave carrying that burden any longer, it was finished.

When we walked out to the parking lot he embraced me for the first time in months, and I said "new beginnings". He turned to me and said thank you and asked to embrace me again, repeating my words "new beginnings". In that moment, instead of being the end, it was a new beginning to a new way of life and hope for a brighter future, leaving the pain of the past behind.

We have the power to create new beginnings, regardless of our circumstance. I couldn't change what he did, I couldn't change the circumstance, I could change how I chose to react to it, and I could change my hope and outlook for the future.

He then told me how much this meant to him, that he had been unable to sleep, and had also been in emotional pain. This had become a freeing moment for him, as well as for me.

He called me the next day and thanked me again for a new chance at life, the freedom of forgiveness. I felt light and hopeful; the chains of bitterness had been released. Two simple words sincerely spoken, forgive me, gave me my life back, him his life back, and most importantly set the stage for our son to have two peaceful parents providing a loving example of forgiveness and new beginnings.

Chapter Three

Listen To Your Heart

Have you had the experience of hearing something your heart was telling you and ignoring it? You know what I'm talking about, that strong feeling that you should say something, or do something, yet it doesn't make any logical sense. If we think about that feeling long enough, and try to rationalize it, we can easily talk ourselves out of doing it for any number of logical reasons. The next time that happens to you, please listen to your heart. You may never know what impact your actions will have.

Finishing a speaking engagement in Detroit, it had been an awesome program. I felt great, good energy, the crowd was delighted, people laughing, always a good sign. A line had formed and some audience members were standing in line with comments to make, wanting to speak with me. I appreciated their kind comments as always, and took time one by one to deeply look them in the eye and accept their kindness. I wasn't expecting what was coming.

A mature woman grabbed both of my hands, and face to face with me, looking into my eyes said "You make the world a better place, just by being here. The world would not be the same without you. Your son is a lucky, lucky boy to have you, and you need to know that your goodness oozes out of you from the moment that you open your mouth. You are a good person, and this world would not be the same without you. You are a dear heart".

My eyes began to well up with tears. I felt that God had spoken to her and used her presence to bless me. How could she have known that I was standing in front of that audience offering hope and a positive message, yet was going through one of the darkest moments of my life? How could she have known the rejection that I was feeling after having realized the truth behind the events leading up to my recent divorce? How could she have known that I worried about my son, being good enough for him, wanting him to grow up happy, healthy, and whole in the midst of this situation? She couldn't have known this, it was only because she heard something in her heart, and faithfully listened. I felt so grateful that she had the courage to listen to her heart.

I know that she didn't know exactly why I was tearing up, but I know it confirmed that she had done the right thing. I wish I could have told her exactly how deeply she touched me, but I didn't want to risk completely breaking down in front of this group.

I thought as I left, I want to always remember to listen to my heart, as this woman had. When our hearts speak, we must listen, and although we may never know how much we have impacted another, we can be confident we have done our part, and encouraged another to listen to their heart.

Chapter Four

When You're Grateful It's Hard To Be Hateful

Somewhere around , feet and flying over the Rocky Mountains I was engaged in a conversation with a hard rock musician from Sacramento, CA. As much as externally we may have looked very different, we had found a deeper emotional connection. In finding our similarities we had both been divorced, and had found new relationships that were providing a loving and joyful experience.

As the conversation turned to divorce, we shared a bit of our past, and he seemed intrigued by my relationship with my ex-husband, and how we could ever live and co-parent in such an open and loving way. The words rushed out of my mouth without even thinking; "when you're grateful it's hard to be hateful". With that unexpected statement, I recounted my story.

Grace and gratefulness often arrive at unexpected times, and grace that day, came to me on a tractor. I was on my riding lawn tractor, cutting the grass, enjoying the weather and appreciating my home from a different point of view. For me, cutting the grass is a peaceful experience, with plenty of time to reflect or to let my mind wander.

Many thoughts had been entering my mind, and a constant stream of dialogue was rolling. It was dialogue from family and friends regarding my ex-husband, and what he would not be without me. I'm sure you're familiar with the idea, how family wants to support us by letting us know how great we are, and how less than great anyone else may be. I was hearing words in my head from family members that stated things like "he wouldn't be anything without you", followed by specific examples of what he wouldn't have, be, or do without me. It was easy to buy into, because in some ways they were correct, but was it true or balanced?

As I decided to still those voices, a question was raised in my mind; what or who would I not be without him? My mind began to fill with a flood of images of how my life would be different, if I had never known him, and it was a humbling experience. I was so touched by what I discovered; that I took the time to write down all the things that he had given me, although nothing that I noted was material. I was overwhelmed with gratefulness and felt the need to write him a letter of thanks for all that he had provided me. Here is an excerpt from that letter:

"Because of you, my world was opened to a new culture. Because of you, my world was opened to a new language. Because of you, I have my own business because you supported me emotionally to take the risk. Because of you, I am a better communicator having been encouraged by you. Because of you, I have a beautiful son. Because of you, I have eternal love because of the gift of my son. Because of you, I have grown as a human being, and am a better person for it.

You challenged me to define my desires, and assess who I really am, and what my values are. You have given me more than you can know. I thank you for our years together, and for all the beautiful things you are. I choose to remember the goodness, and hope that you will find the love you always wanted. I wish you nothing but happiness, and much success!

May all the deepest desires of your heart be fulfilled, because you deserve it! I will be forever grateful for your presence in my life, because without you I would have missed so much. Thank you for the years, and your love for our beautiful son."

I gave the letter to my ex-husband that day as he came to bring our son home from spending time with him. Within the next 15 minutes I received a phone call from him, emotionally thanking me for the letter, and telling me how much it meant to him. It was a moment of grace that changed our experience and has provided a sense of gratefulness for our future, as loving parents to a beautiful little boy.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from 21 Days to Transform, Transcend, and Treasure Your Lifeby Rebecca Herrera Copyright © 2012 by Rebecca Herrera. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.