Knocking on Heaven's Door: The Path to a Better Way of Death - Tapa dura

"Astonishingly beautiful. [Butler's] honest and challenging book is an invitation to all people-Christians included-to reconsider the meaning of drawn out deaths and extreme measures in a historic-and eternal-perspective." -- Christianity Today "A stunning book, truthful and its dignified, and it could be a conversation-starter. If there's a need for that in your family - or if you only want to know what could await you - then read Knocking on Heaven's Door. You won't regret it." * Appeal Democrat * "[Knocking on Heaven's Door is] a triumph, distinguished by the beauty of Ms. Butler's prose and her saber-sharp indictment of certain medical habits. [Butler offers an] articulate challenge to the medical profession: to reconsider its reflexive postponement of death long after lifesaving acts cease to be anything but pure brutality." * New York Times * "Knocking on Heaven's Door is more than just a guide to dying, or a personal story of a difficult death: It is a lyrical meditation on death written with extraordinary beauty and sensitivity. * San Francisco Chronicle * "Butler's advice is neither formulaic nor derived from pamphlets...[it] is useful, and her challenge of our culture of denial about death necessary...Knocking on Heaven's Door [is] a book those caring for dying parents will want to read and reread. [It] will help those many of us who have tended or will tend dying parents to accept the beauty of our imperfect caregiving." * Boston Globe * "Compassionate and compelling." -- Shelf Awareness "Knocking On Heaven's Door is a disquieting book, and an urgent one. Against a confounding bioethical landscape, Katy Butler traces the odyssey of her parents' final years with honesty and compassion. She does a great service here, skillfully illuminating issues most of us are destined to face sooner or later. I cannot imagine a finer way to honor the memory of one's parents than in such a beautifully rendered account." -- Alexandra Styron * author of Reading my Father * "This book stands as an act of profound courage. It is brutally honest about the nature of relationships, searingly insightful in the potential of healing, and shines and intense light on our ignorance...For that alone, it is an important one to read." * 108ZenBooks.com * "This beautifully written and well researched book will take you deep into the unexplored heart of aging and medical care in America today. With courage, unrelenting honesty, and deepest compassion, Katy Butler shares her saga of how a family of independent, thoughtful, and complex souls attempt to navigate their uncharted journey through medical institutions and specialties. Here, the degree of individual and family suffering turns on myriad decisions, large and small, coerced by economic and institutional forces. Knocking on Heaven's Door makes it clear that until care of the soul, families, and communities become central to our medical approaches, true quality of care for elders will not be achieved." -- Dennis McCullough * author of My Mother, Your Mother: Embracing "Slow Medicine,'" the Compassionate Approach to Cari * "This is the most important book you and I can read. It is not just about dying, it is about life, our political and medical system, and how to face and address the profound ethical and personal issues that we encounter as we care for those facing dying and death. You will not be able to put this book down. Its tenderness, beauty, and heart-breaking honesty matches the stunning data on dying in the West. A splendid and compassionate endeavor." -- Joan Halifax, PhD, Founding Abbot, Upaya Institute/Zen Center and Director, Project on Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death "Intimate and wise, heartbreakingly compassionate, and critically helpful, this is a truly important work that I hope will be widely read. We have lost our way and Katy Butler's impeccably researched and powerful tale will help eliminate much suffering on the passage to the mystery of death." -- Dr. Jack Kornfield * author of A Path with Heart * "Katy Butler's new book-brave, frank, poignant, and loving-will encourage the conversation we, as a society, desperately need to have about better ways of dying. From her own closely-examined personal experience, she fearlessly poses the difficult questions that sooner or later will face us all." -- Adam Hochschild * author of King Leopold's Ghost and To End All Wars * "Katy Butler's science background and her gift for metaphor make her a wonderfully engaging storyteller, even as she depicts one of our saddest but most common experiences: that of a slow death in an American hospital. Knocking on Heaven's Door is a terrible, beautiful book that offers the information we need to navigate the complicated world of procedure and technology-driven health care. I'm recommending it to all my friends with aging parents or partners, and holding on to a copy for myself." -- Mary Pipher * author of Reviving Ophelia and Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World * "A forthright memoir on illness and investigation of how to improve end-of-life scenarios. With candidness and reverence, Butler examines one of the most challenging questions a child may face: how to let a parent die with dignity and integrity. Honest and compassionate thoughts on helping the elderly through the process of dying." * Kirkus Reviews * "This braid of a book...examines the battle between death and the imperatives of modern medicine. Impeccably reported, Knocking on Heaven's Door grapples with how we need to protect our loved ones and ourselves." * More Magazine * " A pitch-perfect call for health care changes in the mechanized deaths many suffer in America." * New York Journal of Books * "Butler argues persuasively for a major cultural shift in how we understand death and dying, medicine and healing. At the same time, she lays her heart bare, making this much more than ideological diatribe. Readers...should be sure to pick up this book. It is one we will be talking about for years to come." * BookPage * "[A] deeply felt book...[Butler] is both thoughtful and passionate about the hard questions she raises - questions that most of us will at some point have to consider. Given our rapidly aging population, the timing of this tough and important book could not be better." * Minneapolis Star Tribune * "[An] unflinching look at America's tendency to overtreat [that] makes a strong case for the 'slow medicine' movement, which recognizes that 'dying can be postponed, but aging cannot be cured.'" * Mother Jones * "Shimmer[s] with grace, lucid intelligence, and solace." * Spirituality and Health Magazine * "This is some of the most important material I have read in years, and so beautifully written. It is riveting, and even with parents long gone, I found it very hard to put down. Katy Butler's book will challenge and nourish you. I am deeply grateful for its truth, wisdom, and gorgeous stories-some heartbreaking, some life-giving, some both at the same time. Butler is an amazing and generous writer. This book will change you, and, I hope, our society." -- Anne Lamott * author of Help, Thanks, Wow * "This is a book so honest, so insightful and so achingly beautiful that its poetic essence transcends even the anguished story that it tells. Katy Butler's perceptive intellect has probed deeply, and seen into the many troubling aspects of our nation's inability to deal with the reality of dying in the 21st century: emotional, spiritual, medical, financial, social, historical and even political. And yet, though such valuable insights are presented with a journalist's clear eye, they are so skillfully woven into the narrative of her beloved parents' deaths that every sentence seems to come from the very wellspring of the human spirit that is in her. This elegiac volume is required reading for every American adult; it has about it a sense of the universal." -- Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland, author of How We Die: Reflections of Life's Final Chapter "Knocking on Heaven's Door is a thoroughly researched and compelling mix of personal narrative and hard-nosed reporting that captures just how flawed care at the end of life has become. My hope is that this book might goad the public into pressuring their elected representatives to further transform health care from its present crisis-driven, reimbursement-driven model to one that truly cares for the patient and the family." -- Abraham Verghese * New York Times Book Review *

In Knocking on Heaven's Door,award-winning journalist Katy Butler describes in vivid and poetic prose what happened to her family as her parents were moved from a ripe and vigorous old age toward a long and protracted phase of dying. After suffering a stroke at age 78, Butler's father Jeffrey, a retired professor, was left entirely dependent on the care of his wife, Butler's mother. Six years later, with a heartbeat managed by a pacemaker put in by an unthinking cardiologist, Jeff's body had outlived his brain and his wife was exhausted, sick and depleted from nearly a decade of full-time caregiving. When Butler and her mother appeal to doctors, ethicists and lawyers for help getting the pacemaker turned off-allowing Jeff a natural, painless death rather than the extended, diminished life provided by the pacemaker-they are seen as monsters. Knocking on Heaven's Doordocuments the rebellion brewing against a broken and morally adrift medical system that has morphed from saving lives to prolonging dying. Butler shows how our culture turns to technology to solve the spiritual problem of death, and how we are ignorant of the ancient and modern realities of dying. Knocking on Heaven's Dooris a profoundly moving, expertly researched mediation that will serve as a map for the 78 million baby boomers, caring for elderly parents, facing a medical system that robs death of its sacredness and intensifies its suffering.