Latin for Even More Occasions - Tapa dura

Oh, darn, there I go again! You know, I just can't help speaking Latin.
'Ecce, denuo ago, sicut soleo! Non enim possum facere quin Latine loquar'.

It's so second nature to me, sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it!
'Adeo huius mihi rei natura facta est, ut interdum nesciam quidem me sic facere!'

So you thought you'd already soaked up as much 'scire facere' (savoir faire) as you could by reading that howlingly funny yet highly literate guide to all things Latin, the best-selling 'Latin for all Occasions'. Well, you still have some things to learn. Henry Beard, having already freed former schoolboys and schoolgirls from their previously held assumption that Latin is dead, is now going all out to bring this formerly moribund language into the twentieth century. Henricus has realised that he simply cannot stop when there are people in this world who don't know how to say, 'Is that scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?' in Latin (''Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?''). So he has prepared an entirely new, even funnier way to deal with all possible situations. You can impress your friends as never before on St. Patrick's Day when you yell, ''Hibernia in aeternum'' ('Erin, go bragh!') and wow a tour guide by musing, ''Scire velim ubi taberna munuscolorum sit'' ('I wonder where the gift shop is'). Break into show biz with your impression of Marlon Brando, ' 'Proeliator fuissem'' ('I could've been a contender'); Cary Grant, ''Iudea,Iudea,Iudea'' ('Judy, Judy, Judy'); and James Cagney, ''Tu, rattus turpis!'' ('You dirty rat!). Breeze by the stiffest of maitre d's by saying, 'Cauponas percenseo'' ('I'm a restaurant reviewer'). Your Latin education simply isn't complete without it.

'Tele oblecta!' (Have fun!)

HENRY BEARD spent eight harrowing years studying Latin. After confounding the English-language periodical 'National Lampoon' and writing a number of books in English, including 'Sailing: A Sailor's Dictionary' and ' Miss Piggy's Guide to Life', he is happy finally to have an opportunity to make some use of his knowledge of a language that really hasn't been all that helpful over the years, except for the time he suddenly realised that the thing he was about to order from the menu of a restaurant in Rome looked an awful lot like the Latin word for 'eel'. Mr. Beard resides in 'Novi Eboraci' (New York).