Walking Together: A Mother and Daughter's Journey through Aging and Alzheimer's - Tapa blanda

The book, “WALKING TOGETHER, A Mother and Daughter’s Journey Through Aging and Alzheimer’s” is a memoir of the last eight years of life that the author and mother shared together. The author wrote the book not only to tell the story, but to also reach out and share what they both learned along the way. Her mother lived with her family for eleven years and began developing dementia that slowly grew into Alzheimer’s over this time. Eventually her mother needed nursing home care. The author spent over twenty-five years as a teacher of communication skills and psychological consultant to Hospices in the Chicago area and offered her services as an end of life counselor and grief counselor. She was a psychotherapist for the same period of time. She had developed many skills that helped her be with her mother in a positive way, but there were many things to learn that she did not know about in walking through the many years together in the stages often called, “the big forgetting.” Her book details the stages that she, her husband and her mother took together as they walked through the months, weeks, and days of eight years of “forgetting.” The author and her mother had a close and friendship based relationship, and had shared over many years conversations about books, friends, politics and family. There was no loss as great as the ones that came about when her mother could no longer see to read, could not remember the grandchildren’s names, and could no longer share a cup of tea with her daughter and simply talk the good talk of women everywhere. Because of these losses, the author, Elizabeth Pannier, began to keep a journal documenting conversations, experiences, laughter, poetry, sadness, and finally, the shared silences. Because of the way in which their last years together evolved, this memoir is written in the form of letters addressed to her mother. Each chapter begins Dear Mother, and then continues as it revolves around a particular theme. The book is drawn on these journal entries and shared experiences and reads well. Some of the themes are: Forgetting, Losing Oneself, Nursing Homes, Leaning to Listen, Reflections, Falling Shadows, and Letting Go. The book is short and yet helpful and supportive to the reader. Responses to this book have been positive and supportive. It is helpful for people beginning to walk their own journey with a loved one at this stage of life. It is profoundly helpful for those people who are grieving the loss of a loved one from this dementia path, and it is a great help for those who are aging and desire to share a talk about the possibility of Dementia and Alzheimer’s and what they would like their children to know about their wishes. This is not a “how-to” book. It is a poignant, truthful accounting of one mother, and one family who loved her and cared for her throughout her final days and learned that each day is special. In the end, both her mother and the author moved through the final years in a positive way, and that is one of the facts of living that they learned over and over again. It continues to be the author’s desire that this story of “WalkingTogether,” will be of help to others who find themselves in the beginning, middle or ending stages of walking with a beloved through this final journey, assisting them with the process of acceptance and letting go of any fear. Each moment is life and an opportunity for love, and it is one way to walk together through the great forgetting.

Elizabeth Pannier has invested over thirty years teaching, counseling and leading retreats in communication, human relationships and caring for others in emotional need. Professionally, she was a psychotherapist who worked with individuals and led meditation and personal growth groups for many. She served as a leader in the Hospice movement in its growth in the 1980’s and 1990’s. After many years of giving support to others, she chose early retirement. She began to turn to writing more frequently as she stretched into her sixties. When she retired in her sixties, she and her husband chose to live a rural life in the peace and beauty of Central Wisconsin. Here she devoted more time to creating beautiful quilts and writing the stories about her family. Memoir became a genre that spoke to her. Eventually, she offered her services to a nearby Senior Center and has conducted classes in Memoir writing for five years. It is a perfect fit that combines her great love of literature and the human stories that we share while we learn to support each other in the telling of our personal stories. Elizabeth Pannier’s life has been dedicated to walking with many people as they walk their life Journey. She knows that life is a circle and telling these stories and writing them down helps each of us to complete our journeys in a healing manner. It is this knowledge that led her to write "WALKING TOGETHER."