Wedlocked: A Memoir - Tapa blanda

There are many books being published today that are hailed as "daring" or "brave," but for me, there is only one book that is daring and brave: this book is Jay Ponteri's Wedlocked. Ponteri does not flinch; he does not cower; he offers rawness and honesty, the storm, and the eye of the storm. His long hard stare at marriage and longing, at the inner life of ideas and dreams alongside the life of platitudes and home repairs, gives us a rare and undaunting meditation on and interrogation into these lives. We want him to stay; we want him to go. We want him to have the dream and destroy it too. Essayistic, narrative, and meditative by turns, Ponteri's is a beautiful and truly courageous voice.
--Jenny Boully, Author of The Book of Beginnings and Endings
The great polish poet Czeslaw Milosz talked about the importance of a writer to engage with his or her shadow. That is, often a writer puts forth a kind of hero sense of the self, a sort of announcement to the world that the person you are sensing beneath the writing is essentially a nice, good, person. Milosz's point was that human beings are more complicated than simply being nice or good and that the shadow part of us holds a rich store of truth, meaning, and in the end understanding. So it is in Jay Ponteri's memoir, Wedlocked, that we find a writer engaged with his shadow, wrestling with it, losing and winning with it. This is a book that moves beyond simple individual honesty to the greater more complex honesty of human nature. It's a beautiful, sticky, bloody, sweaty, feverish book that will be hard for some people to read. Those who do, though, will find that what they have imagined is true: our romantic relationships, or relationships with the lover, with the self, with the other, are as complicated and messy and ecstatic as the human body engaged in them.
--Matthew Dickman, Author of All-American Poem
In our understanding of gender, relationship, and desire - there is always another fro

An analysis of the author's marriage and the institution as a whole looks at his struggles with being known and loved by his wife and by another woman, his infatuation with whom he records in a manuscript that his wife discovers.