Imperial Exits: Being an Account of the Varied and Violent Deaths of the Roman Emporors - Tapa dura

Imperial Exits is a viciously vile realization of the untimely ends of some of the great names of imperial Rome, through the witty words of Julius Cicatrix and the scatalogical sketches of Martin Rowson. Here, in all their fading grandeur are Hadrian (copious bleeding from the nose), Galerius (suppurating inflammation of the genitals), Maximin Daia (battered his head against a wall until his eyeballs fell out), Augustus (ate a fig, lovingly poisoned by his wife Livia), Tiberius (stifled by a pillow), and Titus (thoughtfully packed in ice to bring down a fever; he froze to death). The only happy ending in this sorry crew was that of Diocletian who reigned for twenty years, put the Roman world to rights, and retired to grow cabbages at his villa by the sea.
A hilariously horrid history lesson, Imperial Exits is a must for classical scholars, antiquarians, and lovers of true crime.