Letters of Not - Tapa dura

A collection of remarkable and completely made-up correspondence from the great and the good across history.

Many books have collated the exceptional letters and personal writing of the famous, offering a fascinating insight into well-known figures’ personal lives and hidden desires. But what of the undistinguished epistles of the renowned? Can their less auspicious musings divulge clues to their hopes and ambitions? Probably not. But they can be quite funny.

‘Letters of Not’ assembles the fictional jotted dross that was never before considered worthy of collection. The Post-it notes, the shopping lists, the failed limericks and the birthday card sentiments of history’s most celebrated sons and daughters.

Inside you will find:
Werner Herzog’s impassioned note to his cleaning lady
Patti Smith’s gym application
Captain Scott’s other last letter to his wife
Salvador Dali’s to do list
Mark E. Smith’s audio tour of Ripon Cathedral
Harold Pinter greetings cards
Pope Benedict’s handover notes
James Joyce’s out of office
Dr Heimlich’s other manoeuvre
A letter from the table next to the Algonquin Round Table
Tweets from the 1966 Newport Folk Festival
Instructions on what to do when you meet Van Morrison

And many more, beautifully rendered in their original, blatantly falsified glory and hilariously transcribed for your pleasure.

Dale Shaw is a comedy writer who has written for a number of successful TV and radio things including Mitchell and Webb, School of Comedy, The Now Show, Russell Howard's Good News, The Impressions Show, Anna & Katy, Watson & Oliver, The News Quiz and some Muller Rice commercials. Letters of Not is his first book.