Dottie’s Diary: The Curious Incident of a Royal Bull Terrier - Tapa dura

From the celebrated artist Emma Sergeant comes this wickedly funny 'diary' of the days leading up to the real-life disgrace of royal Bull Terrier Dottie. Hear it from Dottie herself, the blue-blooded terror of the canine kingdom who shook Britain when she killed one of the Queen's Corgis.

25th December
Christmas day. It is cold and we race around the sundial in the garden. The family return from church and we enter the house. Inside the Christmas tree is decorated and surrounded with presents.
Pharos and the other corgis position themselves near the tree anticipating their Christmas stockings. A deep resentment grips me. With every breath my growl grows to a battle cry. Death to the enemy!
I am in flight across the presents, dragging tinsel like a feather bower across my chest.
Mummy screams, "No Dottie!" Pharos stares, her smugness turns to horror as the tinsel terror locks jaws.
My rage takes away my senses and I am numb to the desperate attempts of the humans to disengage my fangs from Pharos's neck. Various methods are being applied, kick, screams and much soda water.
The scrum of humans, jets of Schweppes and barking bitches help to enmesh me in the shiny twine. The tension in the tinsel increases. The Christmas tree falls. I lie battered but at peace beneath the great conifer. Shattered crystal balls, broken stars and a mangled fairy surround me. I release my grip on Pharos's neck.
The day is mine but the night in the kennels is a long one.

London-born Emma Sergeant exhibits at the Fine Art Society. The rising star of the British art world, her collections boast diversity second to none, including paintings from Afghanistan, Orpheus and the Underworld, and the Faces of the Four Continents.