The Times Not Dead Yet - Tapa dura

A highly entertaining compilation of The Times column that challenges ageism and celebrates being 50-plus

Are you of a certain age yet still vaguely interested in how the world runs, still go out to the shops and pictures, still enjoy a laugh? Well, it probably comes as no surprise to you but many young (or young-ish) people out there think you’re past it. The Times’ column ‘Not Dead Yet’ is the Home Page for you – a hilarious daily compilation of quotes both from those who regard us as coffin-dodgers and those of us who still engage with the world – the world’s leading anti-ageist column.

Elle Macpherson has just come back from two months in Ibiza...the break seems to have paid off because, even at 37, Elle looks very, very lovely.

This week John Peel is on four networks and celebrates 40 years on air. Try getting your head round that.

Mary Wesley has thick white hair, endless legs and the captivating face that made her such a sexy beauty in her youth. Next year she will be 90, which she finds rather irritating because there is nothing elderly about her.

Some truths about ageing: Things you buy won’t wear out. You can have a party and the neighbours won’t even notice. Your secrets are safe with friends, because they won’t remember them.

My favourite lesson came form a friend’s granddaughter: ‘Granny says she was going to grow old gracefully but she’s left it too late’.

In a recent game of rugby between golden oldies, a 65-year-old hooker was playing his last game, so the opposing captains agreed to let him score a try. He was duly allowed to catch the ball and set off at a slow gallop into the opponents’ half, while bodies deftly dived out of his way. Alas, he eventually ran out of steam, whereupon a player from each side lifted him up and carried him over the line.

Carmen Dell’Orifice is not the world’s oldest working model. My friend Pam Phillips is 71 and is getting more modelling work than ever. You name it, she does it – even dancing with the Pet Shop Boys on television.