Somewhere Upriver - Tapa blanda

Has evolution made humans into big babies? Can a grown man be toppled with a straw and a newt? Is salamander spit the newest weapon of mass destruction? The answers lie Somewhere Upriver. Douglas Mortimer, just beginning graduate school, is on his way to fulfilling his lifelong dream of becoming a great scientist. But when Douglas hires an eccentric old herpetologist as a research assistant, his plans for a successful future are derailed. He enters a world of toxic salamanders, quirky characters and government conspiracies, where the outlandish becomes amazingly believable.“A memorable mind-altering venture of wildlife biologists exploring Washington’s rainforests, forging hilarious new trails beyond the beaten track, revealing secrets hidden beneath the skin of salamanders.” —Diana Somerville author of Inside Out Down Under: Stories from a Spiritual Sabbatical“ ... wonderful characters, action, humor, a little sex, and a vivid picture of one of the last American rainforests. It’s great testimony that I really cared how the characters fared. And oh, yeah; I almost forgot the toads. We learn a lot about toads, too!”—Terence Kuch author of The Seventh Effect and See/Saw“... packed with laughs and intrigue in which the hero meets his tests of courage with renegade herpetologist Peter Vernon and a cast of characters living on the fringe of society who help, hinder and educate Douglas. It’s a story of homemade beer, homemade tofu, gourd banjos, living underground, alien encounters, salamanders, rainforests, and field biologists who tramp through streams in search of new species ... with a court trial and renegade FBI agents to round out this delightful story.” — Barbora Holan Cowles author of Why wasn’t my teacher in school today?

Patrick Loafman has a BS degree in wildlife biology and since 1988 has worked as a field biologist, specializing in herpetology. His short fiction, nonfiction and poetry has been published in over twenty literary journals and he has two chapbooks of poetry. His short story collection, A Freckle Shaped like California is forthcoming, and he edits The Dandelion Farm Review. When he’s not in the Olympic Mountains chasing after rare salamanders, owls or liverworts, Patrick can be found strumming his homemade gourd banjo at The Dandelion Farm with his wife, chickens, bunnies and a curious blue cat. He is a forty-seven-year-old surfer and skateboarder who never quite grew up Follow Patrick at patrickloafman.weebly.com