Don't Organise My Tears: Reflections on Bereavement

DON T ORGANISE MY TEARS is a collection of 24 reflections on bereavement. The title may not appear to be an invitation; but surprisingly enough it is an invitation to get involved in the grief of others. Not in any interfering way, but by sympathy and compassion. The verses in this small book express my involvement in the grief I witnessed in the lives of others. All grief is unique, we cannot know what others suffer. However I found that when I attempted to express in verse my grief in seeing others grieve it helped me cope. It is in the hope that they may be of help to others that these verses are published. Each reflection is matched by an illustration. Some are in colour, others in monochrome. All, I feel, help reflection. I am so grateful to Mavis Bates for agreeing to illustrate these pages. I feel her delicate and sensitive interpretations are so much more than illustrations. Her most original take on each verse serves as an encouragement to the reader to explore the subtle body language of grief, and help us translate the words which so often awkwardly but painfully express need. The final verse "Perceive new colours" is written in the hope that if we learn compassion for others we may help to bring new colour into their lives and our own. I would see this small book serving many purposes, As a help to those who would want to discuss bereavement with young people. These reflections were written when I was teaching. Eight of these reflections are concerned with the effect of grief on the lives of the young. I found that attending funerals of the parents, or pupils themselves, was always a very moving experience; writing verses seemed the only way I could cope with the weight of bereavement. As a gift to someone who is feeling the loneliness of bereavement. These reflections explore the uncomfortable feelings of grief, which can frighten us. As a help to all of us when we want to be with those who mourn.

Fr Anthony Bailey SDB Tony Bailey is a Salesian priest who is presently editor of the Salesian magazine 'Don Bosco Today'. He wrote these verses when he was Headteacher of Savio High School, Bootle. Many were inspired by the grief he felt and the bravery he witnessed when attending the funerals of children of the school, or their parents. He was also influenced by the death of his mother, and some funerals he attended when supplying as a priest at St Matthew's Church, West Norwood, London.