They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life

'A classic. An absolute, slam-dunk tour-de-force guaranteed to make you think more deeply than ever about what made you who you are. Oliver James gets us to prise open all the cobwebbed cupboards of our lives and teaches us how to dust down and tidy up the mess we find inside ... It may be the most frightening book since The Shining, but it's also the most helpful since the Highway Code' Jeremy Vine 'With fascinating case studies from Prince Charles to Jeffrey Archer, this accessible book explains how our childhood experiences dramatically shape our lives' Daily Mail 'He presents some compelling evidence for his case in this popular examination of recent research into how we develop ... An interesting read' Irish Times 'Taking Larkin's words as a starting point, psychologist Oliver James looks at what makes us what we are and argues forcibly in favour of nurture, claiming that how we are cared for during early childhood is the fundamental factor' Daily Express

Do your relationships tend to follow the same destructive pattern? Do you feel trapped by your family's expectations of you? Does your life seem overwhelmingly governed by jealousy or competitiveness or lack of confidence? In this ground-breaking book, clinical psychologist Oliver James shows that it is the way we were cared for in the first six years of life that has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. Nurture, in effect, shapes our very nature. James combines the latest scientific research with fascinating interviews to show that understanding your past is the first step to controlling your present.