This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1872. Excerpt: ... They want to know about the man Who wooed my eldest sister, They'd like to know how many times He visited and kissed her; They want to know who tied the knot, A Methodist or Baptist, And which of all that preacher's sons At learning was the aptest. They want to know how long it was Before a crib was wanted, And if the baby proved a girl--If "Pa" was disappointed. They want to know if sister keeps A nurse and kettle-washer, And if a mastiff churns her cream, Or if they use a dasher. They want to know a thousand things I do not mean to tell them, About the folks they 'll never see, And all that e'er befell them. I would I were a bird or bat, I'd fly away forever, And hide me in some quiet nook Where I'd be questioned never. HOW "TOM JONES" BECAME "MR. JONES" AND "THOMAS JONES, ESQ." Or, "i'll Sign If You'll Sign." A TEMPERANCE STORY IN VERSE. Thomas Jones was a printer. His youth promised fair That his prime should be honored; the child of a pair, Who were honest of heart and had taught him to go In the safe path of virtue while dwelling below. But the Demon Intemperance stood up in his way, With his sword ready whetted his victim to slay. "Come! come!" said he blandly;"there's pleasure with me; I am king of the jovial, the happy and free. Come drink of the nectar that foams in my bowl, And the cares of the world shall sit light on thy soul; Keen sorrow may sharpen its arrows in vain, And whatever thy lot thou wilt scorn to complain; The dark billows of change shall roll o'er thee unfelt, And the storms of adversity powerlessly pelt On the head I will arm with a helmet of steel, For the friends of my bosom no anguish can feel." Then he paused for an answer. Deep burred in thought, Tom reflected and doubted, yet answered him not. He was thinking of lessons l...
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