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Philip Hesketh has spent over five years as a business speaker, a profession which taken him as far as a field as Singapore and Australia. Now a full-time speaker on 'The Psychology of Persuasion', Philip shares the knowledge and experience he gained during his impressive career as a salesman for Proctor & Gamble, and later as a Business Director and Managing Partner of Advertising Principles, a leading advertising firm, which he grew from a standing start to a £48 million company employing over 150 people.
Phil is a motivational speaker and raconteur. He offers wit and wisdom on human behaviour and how to influence it. The result? Audiences are enthralled as well as informed from first minute to last. Smiling throughout and often laughing out loud. But more importantly, they leave the event inspired and better informed on how buying, selling, persuading and influencing actually work.

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How to Persuade and Influence People, Completely revised and updated edition of Life's a Game So Fix the Odds

John Wiley & Sons

Chapter One

In successful relationships, people never stand still. They're always moving forward and evolving to make their relationship even more successful. Happy and successful people continually work on their skills and their ability to be more persuasive and influential. So when you are going through a change in your life, you always need to counteract the uncertainty that generates with hope that things will get better. And the greater the degree of hope, the more positive vibes you give off to those around you and the greater the chance of a positive outcome and long-term success.

Research among businesses going through change reveals that employees who are hopeful of providing worthwhile solutions are much more likely to produce positive results. Why? Because people with hope enjoy themselves more and are a great deal more productive.

You no doubt want others to say 'yes' to you more often. You would like to get your own way most of the time. You want to be more persuasive and influential, so people will do what you want them to do. That's what this book is about.

It teaches you specific techniques that allow you to become more influential and persuasive. Techniques that enable you to get your own way more often, whether you are in business—hoping to find ways of convincing colleagues and potential clients—or looking for ways to improve your relationships.

I also explore the difference between persuasion and influence. Persuasion is often something we 'do' to people—and most people don't want to be persuaded. Have you ever gone home after a day's shopping and said to whoever you live with, 'Guess what someone sold me today?'

I didn't think so. If you said to a friend 'I've been persuaded to do this', you almost certainly didn't feel good about it. Because persuasion is something we do to people. And influence is something that we have.

HOPE

So it is with hope that I start to write this book. It is a Tuesday evening in England. It's cold, dark and miserable. In fact, it's snowing.

But not for me.

For me it's a Wednesday morning and I'm sitting overlooking the bay in Russell, Bay of Islands, New Zealand. It's a lovely summer's day with just a little cloud. An early morning walker ambles by; the ducks float happily and the world is at one.

For me it is an epiphanic moment.

My story is of a lifetime of studying persuasion, influence, communication and relationships. I have been fascinated by how and why we do what we do. Though one is never sure, I think that the process of study began when a neighbour of my parents in Ashton-under-Lyne gave me a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. It was then, at the age of about 16, that I decided to live my life with the principles of that book in mind. Many years later, in my first year as a professional speaker on the psychology of persuasion, I vowed not to write a book until I could write one that was better than the book I had read all those years before. Carnegie's book rightly remains a classic. You are the better for reading it.

But I had also set myself a number of goals in deciding to become a professional speaker. First, I wanted to become the best and most sought-after speaker on the planet, bar none. Secondly, I wanted to become a Professor at Harvard and speak at the likes of Oxford, Cambridge and Yale universities. Thirdly, I wanted to write a bestselling book, and fourthly, I wanted to change the weather in February. If you've ever visited the north of England you'll understand why. And finally, I set a goal for my son Daniel and I: one day to play live, together, on stage with the great Ralph McTell. That's my dream. Naturally, it doesn't figure highly on Ralph's list of goals, but remember what this book is all about: learning how to persuade and influence other people to do what you want them to do. Look out, Ralph.

And so I sit in the Bay of Islands in the North Island of New Zealand, having achieved one of my goals. I have changed the weather in February. For me, at least.

This book is not just about understanding how the process of influence works and making yourself happier, it's also about challenging yourself to establish what your goals are. It is about you deciding on your own equivalent of hope, of changing the weather in February, and how to achieve it.

For you.

Life is a game and this book helps you to improve the odds.

DARE TO BEGIN

But I said that I wouldn't write a book until I could write a better one than Dale Carnegie's classic. So why now? Will it be better? I don't know. But I do know that there may never be a better time than this one to start.

So I'm taking my own advice and daring to begin. I don't want to work in a biscuit factory again, but I'm glad I did. Two night shifts at Hills was more than enough for me.

Instead, I want to go to Kansas City and see if everything is up to date there. I want to go to Alexandria and have an ice-cold beer. I want to go to Nashville and play the guitar. They're not so keen, obviously, but it's what I want. I want to drive down Route 66 to see if I can get my kicks there. I want to stand on the corner in Winslow, Arizona and see if it is such a fine sight to see. I want to meet a Wichita lineman. At some point in my life, I want to actually be 24 hours from Tulsa. I want to sail on Kon-Tiki. I want to fly with eagles and swim with dolphins. I want to go for it all or die trying.

The first step in achieving your goals is to believe that you can. But you also need the courage to recognize that sometimes you are simply not physically or mentally able to fulfil a dream; so you do what you can and move on. Remember, life and happiness are about the journey and not the destination. In my previous life as an ad man for 25 years, I was often asked the question, 'How do I become a director?' My answer was always, 'Start behaving like one now.'

So I begin this book because I can. Because I can't think of a better time to start than when it's dark and snowing in England in February and I'm overlooking the bay in Russell, having just finished breakfast.

However, before I start on persuasion and influence, an apology.

I am of the view that there is no need to use swear words. The English language is rich and deep and there are many words you can use when you feel that something is nonsense, whether it's an idea, a belief or a point of view. You disagree, you think it's wrong, very wrong. In fact, you think it's rubbish. You get my drift?

Well, despite my best efforts, I can't find a word that effectively conveys what my dad would call 'absolute balderdash'. So I invented a word: 'horrocks'. It means that I think a theory or view is horribly wrong. I'm afraid, dear reader, I use it 12 times in this book, including this one here.

Bear with me.

Just as studies have shown that people who score high on hope cope better with disease, illness and pain, so I find that because I expect people to say yes to me—to do what I want them to do—it happens more often than if I assume I am going to fail.

And so I ask you to read this book with hope.

I will not only share with you techniques to improve your ability to persuade and influence, improve your reputation and get your own way more often, I will also give you the secrets to happiness and the purpose of life.

Time to begin.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from How to Persuade and Influence People, Completely revised and updated edition of Life's a Game So Fix the Oddsby Philip Hesketh Copyright © 2010 by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Excerpted by permission of John Wiley & Sons. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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