You ever been trapped in an elevator? Probably not, it is quite an unlikely occurrence. In the city, there is a young man on his way to visit the woman he loves in hospital. She is ill, maybe injured, possibly dying, we don't really know. On the way up to Ward 12, the lift gets stuck. Our nameless hero panics; he has to get up there to see his love, he is desperate and upset. What condition will she be in? In the isolation, with the company of an old man who is himself visiting his dying wife, our hero rethinks the chain of events that led him to this moment; beginning with his strange childhood in the small village of Sand Coaster. His insane father who roams the house in a wedding dress dominates his young family life. Relief is had by his great friends, and the comforting presence of Uncle Archie the Story teller, an old eccentric outcast who lives in a burned out factory with his mice friends. In his teens he meets the love of his life, Philippa Maynard, his obsession, his pin up, his everything. His love for her is intense, but there is something very strange about their doomed union. What begins a standard love story soon turns sour, and a surreal, twisted dream like story follows. The various characters in the man's life suggest possibilities of a wild imagination, a loneliness that brews a more interesting fantasy world. Meet the Sofa guard, an armed soldier sent by the sofa company to guard the couch, until he feels the owner is mature enough to be trusted alone with the three seater; the demented sex pest Kevin the Sniffer; the world famous Archaeologist Alonut Missing who used to have a business based on a cuddling service; Cutey the pimp; Nippy Want the glancing needer; Wasted Lampo, the war hero robot that never was; Rico Romano the spick who loves sex; Da Checkers; Yellow Cassettes Peck. It's a strange world, unlike any other you've chanced upon. This unique story is an experiment in challenging conventional storytelling, twisting the English language into unnatural positions, deforming characters into twitching wrecks. A surreal mindbender with a shocking twist.
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