My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord

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9780451474940: My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord

When Luke's annoying older brother became a superhero instead of him, Luke thought he couldn't get any more disgruntled-- until his friend Lara became a superhero, too.  Now Luke's feeling totally left out; even his best friend gets mad at him when Luke's attempts at crime-solving without superpowers go terribly awry.  So when Luke discovers an alien plot to overthrow the world, he's got nobody to turn to who'll listen...nobody but his sworn enemy.  In this hilarious sequel to My Brother is a Superhero, Luke will have to put on his big-boy Daredevil underpants and find out what heroes and villains are truly made of.

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About the Author:

David Solomons is a screenwriter whose first feature film was an adaptation of Five Children and It (starring Kenneth Branagh and Eddie Izzard, with gala screenings at the Toronto and Tribeca Film Festivals). His latest film, Not Another Happy Ending, closed the Edinburgh International Film Festival. My Brother is a Superhero was his first novel for children. He was born in Glasgow and now lives in Dorset with his wife (and novelist) Natasha, and son, Luke. Follow him at @DavidSolomons2.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

“The Thucwex Gsuphlon has arrived,” boomed a voice that seemed to come from everywhere.

There was a sound like someone clapping wet hands. “Bring the nourishment.”

As my vision adjusted, I began to make out my surroundings. I was lying on some kind of raised platform in the center of a large, rectangular room with two doors. A single column of light shone down on me from the ceiling far above. Markings crisscrossed the floor, multicolored straight lines and curves I felt sure I’d seen somewhere before. A movement caught my eye. High up one wall was a viewing window, behind which huddled shadowy figures, observing me. I felt like a specimen on a microscope slide. I sat up. My head throbbed, and I had an overwhelming desire for—

“Grilled cheese, oh great and terrible Thucwex?”

There was a faint buzzing next to my ear. I turned to find some kind of hovering drone with a bulbous electronic eye that swiveled at the end of a stalk. The weird thing was that the drone looked familiar. It held out a silver plate on which lay a slice of toast with a slab of melted white cheese.

“Halloumi,” said the voice. “Not only the squeakiest cheese in the universe, but one of the saltiest. Your biology requires such replenishment after your journey.”

Journey? What was the voice talking about? I examined the grilled cheese greedily. It might have been poisoned, but I didn’t care. I wolfed it down, and slipped off the podium. “Where am I? Who are you?” I addressed the figures behind the high window.

“One question at a time,” said the voice. “Lower the blast shields,” it commanded.

With a rumble, a section of wall parted, leaving an unobstructed view out. I’d seen this view a hundred times, but only in photos with a NASA logo in one corner.

Before me lay the spinning green and blue marble of planet Earth.

“We are in geostationary orbit above the oblate ellipsoid known to you as Earth,” explained the voice calmly. “In your standard measure, twenty-three thousand miles above coordinates fifty-one degrees, twenty-two minutes, thirty-nine-point-nine seconds latitude; zero degrees, two minutes, thirty-six-point-five-one seconds longitude. Or, as I am sure you have already calculated, directly above Route 95 at the corner of Brewery Road.”

Suddenly, I remembered where I had seen the drone before. “I’m on the mother ship from the Puny Earthlings game!” I breathed.

“Such insight, such reckoning,” said the voice, impressed. “Truly he is the Thucwex Gsuphlon.”

“A new season brings a new Thucwex,” chanted more voices.

I reeled about the room in shock, legs wobbling beneath me. I stumbled and threw out a hand to steady myself. It brushed against a rope hanging from the ceiling. Curious. The jumble of thoughts in my head arranged themselves in some sort of order. The green flash from the Xbox just after I’d defeated Star Guy in the game must have been a teleportation beam. I’d been beamed up. And yet this place didn’t look like any transporter room I’d seen in comics or on TV. Where were the beaming bays? The control panels with dozens of sliders? I pushed the questions from my mind—I had other things to worry about. If this was the mother ship, then the shadowy figures in the viewing window were aliens. Actual extraterrestrials. And if they were anything like the ones in the video game, they didn’t come in peace.

“I know you’re planning to take over the world,” I said. “But you won’t succeed.”

“Yes, we thought so too,” said the voice smugly. “Until you came along, oh dreadful Thucwex.”

“What are you talking about? And why do you keep calling me that? What’s a Thucwex?”

“How shall I explain?” There was a sound I can only describe as a polite cough into a clenched tentacle. “Who knows the earthlings better than themselves? Who better to plot their downfall than one of their own? That video game you are so obsessed with? The key to our plan. It was the maze and you the laboratory rats. In your language, we ‘crowdsourced’ our invasion plan.”

The game. The game was a trick.

The voice let out a laugh at its own cleverness, one that sounded like a mouthful of slapping tongues.

“The only obstacle to our inevitable conquest has been the one known as Star Guy,” the smug alien went on. “For some time now we have been testing his abilities, probing him for a weakness. For example, unnoticed by your planet’s laughable military forces, we used our mighty electromagnetic pulse weapon to bring down three of your atmospheric craft.”

The airplanes. I knew it!

“Star Guy proved to be up to the challenge. As he did with the threat from our genetically modified grocery clerk and the evil artificial intelligence we planted in JCPenney.”

This was all part of the aliens’ master plan. Such cunning.

“Star Guy is a formidable foe,” declared the voice.

Typical. Even the aliens were impressed by my annoying brother.

“Indeed, for a time we considered him too formidable. But then we found you. We computed that the citizens of the realm where Star Guy resides would know him better than anyone else on the planet. They would understand his failings, help us target his vulnerabilities. And here you are. Thanks to your highly inventive solution, now we know how to crush him. You are the Thucwex Gsuphlon,” rasped the voice. “The Bringer of Ruin.”

“A new season brings a new Thucwex,” chanted the others.

Horrified, I leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor. For years I’d dreamed of being the Chosen One, but not like this. I’d shown the aliens how to defeat Star Guy. I was the villain. I was the end of the world.

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Solomons, David
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Descripción Viking Books for Young Readers, United States, 2016. Hardback. Estado de conservación: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. When Luke s annoying older brother became a superhero instead of him, Luke thought he couldn t get any more disgruntled-- until his friend Lara became a superhero, too. Now Luke s feeling totally left out; even his best friend gets mad at him when Luke s attempts at crime-solving without superpowers go terribly awry. So when Luke discovers an alien plot to overthrow the world, he s got nobody to turn to who ll listen.nobody but his sworn enemy. In this hilarious sequel to My Brother is a Superhero, Luke will have to put on his big-boy Daredevil underpants and find out what heroes and villains are truly made of. Nº de ref. de la librería AAS9780451474940

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Descripción Viking Books for Young Readers, United States, 2016. Hardback. Estado de conservación: New. Language: English . Brand New Book. When Luke s annoying older brother became a superhero instead of him, Luke thought he couldn t get any more disgruntled-- until his friend Lara became a superhero, too. Now Luke s feeling totally left out; even his best friend gets mad at him when Luke s attempts at crime-solving without superpowers go terribly awry. So when Luke discovers an alien plot to overthrow the world, he s got nobody to turn to who ll listen.nobody but his sworn enemy. In this hilarious sequel to My Brother is a Superhero, Luke will have to put on his big-boy Daredevil underpants and find out what heroes and villains are truly made of. Nº de ref. de la librería AAS9780451474940

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Descripción Viking Books for Young Readers, United States, 2016. Hardback. Estado de conservación: New. Language: English . This book usually ship within 10-15 business days and we will endeavor to dispatch orders quicker than this where possible. Brand New Book. When Luke s annoying older brother became a superhero instead of him, Luke thought he couldn t get any more disgruntled-- until his friend Lara became a superhero, too. Now Luke s feeling totally left out; even his best friend gets mad at him when Luke s attempts at crime-solving without superpowers go terribly awry. So when Luke discovers an alien plot to overthrow the world, he s got nobody to turn to who ll listen.nobody but his sworn enemy. In this hilarious sequel to My Brother is a Superhero, Luke will have to put on his big-boy Daredevil underpants and find out what heroes and villains are truly made of. Nº de ref. de la librería BZV9780451474940

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Descripción Viking Books for Young Readers 7/19/2016, 2016. Hardback or Cased Book. Estado de conservación: New. My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord. Book. Nº de ref. de la librería BBS-9780451474940

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