Toast and Forms of Public Address - Tapa blanda

This historic book may have numerous typos, missing text or index. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. 1903. Not illustrated. Excerpt: ... ILLUSTRATIVE AND HUMOROUS ANECDOTES With a number of the following anecdotes a few suggestions are given as to the manner in which they may be used. The habit of thinking how a good story may be brought into an address should be formed, after which these hints will be superfluous. At the outset they may help to form the habit. 1. Independence Of A Monopoly [A good illustration of complete independence. It can be used as a humorous description of a monopoly or as a compliment to a man who has complete control of his own affairs.] An inquisitive passenger on a railroad recently had the following dialogue: "Do you use the block system on this road?" inquired the passenger. "No, sir," replied the conductor, " we have no use for it." "Do you use the electric or pneumatic signals?" "No, sir." "Have you a double track?" « No." "Well, of course, you have a train dispatcher, and ran all trains by telegraph?" "No." "I see you have no brakeman. How do you flag the rear of your train if you are stopped from any cause between stations?" "We don't flag." "Indeed! What a way to run a railroad! A man takes his life in his hand when he rides on it. This is criminally reckless I" "See here, mister! If you don't like this railroad vou can get off and walk. I am president of this road and its sole owner. I am also board of directors, treasurer, secretary, general manager, superintendent, paymaster, trackmaster, general passenger agent, general freight agent, master mechanic, ticket agent, conductor, brakeman, and boss. This is the Great Western Railroad of Kentucky, six miles long, with termini at Harrodsburg and Harrodsburg Junction. This is the only train on the road of any kind, and ahead of us is the only engine. We never have collisions. The engineer does his own firing, ...